Eat your heart out, Martha.
I chuckled at my corny joke and walked over to the fridge to pull out a bottle I’d made for Hadley earlier. I sat it in front of her, laughing as she practically attacked the spoon I lifted to her face. I would never understand why she thought this goo was so delicious, but I was glad that she was a good eater. Liam’s face was covered with jelly as he chugged back his juice, and I went to grab a washcloth to clean him up.
“Read a story?” Liam asked.
“After you two are done with lunch,” I said.
“Story now,” Liam said, pouting.
“After you’re done eating, okay?” I asked.
I turned around and saw Liam’s lip jutted out. His eyes were welling with tears and his cheeks were turning red. All I needed was a few minutes of peace. Hadley had gotten up at four in the morning and wouldn’t go back to sleep. Liam was still begging for water the moment his feet hit the floor and, despite the fact that I wouldn’t give it to him last night, he still peed through his pull-up. I braced myself for the tantrum as a shriek flew from Liam’s lips, so I made my way to the table and sat down next to him.
“Liam, calm down,” I said soothingly.
“Story! Now! Story! Now!”
“And I told you after you finished eating.”
“No!”
“Do you want to go to your room?” I asked.
“Yes!”
“If you go to your room, you won’t eat again until dinner.”.
“Okay!”
I watched him stomp off to his room while Hadley gig
gled from her high chair. I sighed as I looked down at his half-eaten plate of food and my stomach began to growl. Liam sulked off to his room and shut his door behind him, and I could hear him throwing things around. For a three-year-old, he could really kick up a fit when he wanted.
I finished off his apple slices and sandwich before I put the plate in the sink. Looking over at Hadley, who was happily sucking down her bottle, I couldn’t help but wonder what my future was going to hold.
Not so long ago, I thought I was going to live the easy life.
When I was asked to leave the company, I found solace in the idea that I’d finally get the break I’d promised myself for years. I had ten million in the bank and I could live very comfortably off just the interest and do whatever the hell I wanted. In the first few months, I did just that. I needed to get my head straight; to kick the pills and the pain of losing Elise.
I shook my head and thought back to the day she’d left me. She’d thrown her ring back at me and said that she wouldn’t waste her life married to a drug addict and stormed out. No amount of promising and begging had won her back. What I didn’t realize at that time was that she was having an affair with my business partner.
Weeks later, after finding out the truth and being forced into retirement, I spent months drunk and screwing just about anything that looked my way. But then life kicked me in the balls, and now I was raising two kids with no clue what in the hell I was doing.
I only hoped that I was doing right by them, and giving them a good life. I had hired a nanny to help me out. I figured if I had some help at least during the day, I could handle things at night. Some days, I struggled even to do that.
I sighed and walked back over to where Hadley sat in her highchair and wiped the excess food and formula from her face and hair – how did she always manage to get it in her hair? I heard Liam calming down in his room and based on the sounds of an electric car I could tell he was playing with the newest toy I’d gotten him, so I felt better about stepping outside for a moment of fresh air. I kissed Hadley on her forehead while she drank her bottle, then I wrapped my coat around my shoulders. It was getting very blustery and the snow was coming down in buckets. By tomorrow morning we’d be completely snowed in.
That meant the nanny wouldn’t be able to get back to us until the snow melted away.
Fuck.
I stood outside and watched as the snow battered against the porch. My hands were shaking just thinking about handling these kids on my own for a few days straight. I’d never been alone with them for that long and I wondered if I could do it without losing my shit. I took deep breaths to calm myself as the chill of the afternoon settled deep within my bones, then my mind started ticking off my imaginary list.
I’d checked the generator a couple of days ago and I had plenty of gas for it in case we lost power. I had a closet full of dried wood and stacks of papers to use for fires. I had plenty of wipes, diapers, and baby food to get us through the next couple of weeks. I bought enough toilet paper, had enough batteries for Liam’s toys, and I’d finish washing their clothes today, so I didn’t have to worry about it in the middle of the storm.
We would be okay. I could handle this. I mean, I’d built a successful company up from the fucking ground. A toddler and a baby couldn’t break me.
Could they?