I had no memories of her. The first time Josh asked if I wanted to meet her, I said no without thinking. Josh never brought it up again. He just let it go, assuming that I would ask if I ever wanted the chance to see her. Deep down, I was always curious. I wondered about the woma
n who gave me away. I wondered who she was, what she was like, and if she ever regretted her decision.
Now that we were sitting there beside each other, I didn’t know what to say.
“I have a million questions,” I finally said. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“You can ask me anything,” Sheila said. “Anything you want.”
“Why did you give me away?” I asked.
The question flew from my lips before I could stop myself. Sheila inhaled sharply, and her eyes darkened with emotion. She looked more like Josh than ever.
“It’s a long story,” Sheila said.
“We have time.” I looked around the waiting room, silently showing her that we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“I already had Joshua,” Sheila said. “And when you came along, I was in the hole. Drugs. Alcohol. Everything.”
“Josh told me you’re sober now,” I said.
“I am.” Sheila smiled. “I have been for over twenty years.”
“That’s great,” I said.
“But back then,” Sheila continued. “I couldn’t take care of another child. I was already terrified that the state would take Joshua away. The idea of losing you both, it was too much to bear. I knew I had to do what was best for you.”
“And you did,” I said. “My parents are amazing.”
“I know.” Sheila smiled again. “I’ve kept up with all three of you over the years. Your mother was kind enough to send me your school pictures.”
“She did?” I asked.
Sheila nodded. “Your mom’s a very kind person.”
I nodded and looked down at my hands. This whole night felt like a dream. Josh was in surgery. I didn’t know if he would make it or not. My biological mother was sitting in the waiting room, talking about how amazing my adopted mom was.
“This is crazy,” I said under my breath.
“I’m sorry,” Sheila said. “This isn’t how I wanted to meet you for the first time.”
“Me neither,” I said. “I wish the nurses would tell us something about Josh.”
“They will soon,” Sheila said with confidence.
When I looked over at her, I saw fear etched into the lines on her face. Her lips were pressed tightly together, and her eyes were wide. She wrung her hands together slowly. For the first time since I saw her, I realized how horrible this must be for her.
Her son was in surgery, and all she could do was wait for news. My heart ached as I watched her. Finally, I reached over and took her hand. I squeezed it gently.
“He’s going to be okay,” I said firmly. “Josh is strong. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“Thank you.” Sheila blinked back tears and clutched my hand.
We sat like that for what felt like hours. I tried not to watch the clock, but it felt like time was moving slower than ever before. When the doctor finally appeared, Sheila and I both jumped to our feet and hurried forward.
CHAPTER 29
JULIE