“See, that’s what I was saying!” she said. “You gotta do what you’re passionate about, right?”
“But, then again, there is some irony there with you having all these issues with the relationships that surround you,” I said, grinning.
“Oh, shut up,” she said, giggling. “Some of the best artists have the most tortured lives.”
“What are the pros of going back to Landon?” I asked.
I knew it was going to make me sick hearing them but she needed to make this list.
“Well, if I never wanted to work again, I wouldn’t have to,” she said.
“Okay, that’s one.”
“When he’s not being a cock, he’s incredibly romantic.”
“That’s two, I think,” I said, grinning.
“And um…”
I watched her struggle just to find one more pro. Just one more to even out the list she’d given me seconds before. I watched her struggle in her seat as she bowed her face into her soda, wracking her brain and trying to talk herself into something I knew she knew was bad for her.
“Wanna move on?” I asked.
“Please,” she said breathlessly.
“What are the cons to being with us?” I asked.
She whipped her head up at my question, fear rushing behind her eyes as she swallowed hard.
“You don’t have to worry. I’m not a hothead like Owen or Ethan. You can open up to me. You’re safe with me, always.”
“Well, I guess I’ve always just pictured myself with one guy. The idea of anything else is frightening. Territory I’d have no idea how to navigate.”
“All right. That’s one.”
“How that would impact my father if we ever told him. Oh my gosh, I don’t know if it would blow his head off or sadden him so much it would kill him.”
“That’s two,” I said.
“That’s a big two,” she said. “You guys also have a very competitive streak. I mean, I grew up with all of you. I’ve seen how you compete. Seeing who can spit the farthest. Who can jump the highest. Who can eat their dinner the fastest and not puke. And that’s idiotic stuff. But sharing a woman? One woman for all of you?”
I could see the exasperation in her eyes. The exhaustion that rolled over her face just thinking about it. And she had a point. We were all fiercely competitive and we would always be vying for her attention. Trying to get the most of her and trying to have as much of her as we could.
I could definitely see it and I could definitely see how that would get very old very quickly.
“I would stir up trouble between you guys in a heartbeat,” she said. “Like I already have.”
Our food was set in front of us but Kyra was lost within the confines of her mind. She was mindlessly sipping her soda through her straw, her lips puckering around that device like they had puckered when I’d sank her onto my lap. Her skin glistened in the morning winter sunlight just like it had glistened with sweat when she took me into her body.
I felt a rush of electricity waft over me simply reliving the experience and it gave her the room she needed to breathe and collect her thoughts.
“I’m afraid that I’ll ultimately break the bond we all have with one another and I just don’t know if I can live with that,”
she said.
I wanted to correct her. I wanted to tell her she was wrong. I wanted to sit beside her and tuck her underneath the crook of my arm, press a kiss to her temple, and tell her all the reasons why she was wrong in her assumptions.
But I couldn’t. Because the truth of the matter was that she wasn’t wrong.