Working through college was tough, but I was getting by. I refused to go into debt with my schooling, so any debt I accrued was quickly paid off within weeks of taking out the loan. I was splitting my time between classes and being a personal assistant. I sat at my desk, helping people who bought my time to coordinate their schedules and make it to their meetings on time.
It was a decent job and one that paid well. Depending on the package someone bought, they got a certain amount of my time during the week. Sometimes, people wanted counseling, someone to talk to and use as a soundboard, sharing their frequently terrible ideas before I changed everything. Sometimes people wanted me to tap into their schedules remotely and help them with their time management skills. Every once in a while, people purchased more expensive packages that required face-to-face time, but luckily, I hadn’t built a reputation for any of that.
Instead, I was known for being able to whip people’s mindsets and schedules into shape—without ever actually having to meet them in person.
It suited me well, especially considering the degree I was obtaining. I was attending Vanderbilt University to study psychology, with a focus on helping those dealing with substance abuse. Part of helping people with those types of issues was finding the triggers throughout their day that spiraled them, which meant going through their schedule and analyzing every detail.
Doing that as a remote private assistant gave me the practice and experience I needed while paying me a decent paycheck as well.
I stretched back up to the sky, reaching as high as I could. I could feel my back popping, a sign that I wasn’t taking enough breaks. I stood on my toes before I slowly bent backward, working my way into my favorite position. It always helped to lighten the load on my lower back and rush the blood to my head. The light-headed sensation gave me a chance to breathe deeply and take a pause, which helped oxygenate my blood faster.
As I was bending backwards, I caught a glimpse of a picture I kept at my desk. It was of my mom, holding me close to her when I was only nine.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I held my position. Every time I thought about her, my heart ached. She was the reason I wanted to study psychology in the first place. I wanted to try and understand my mother better. Her battle with depression raged for most of my life, and I watched her bounce from medication to medication without any luck. Psychiatrists would try to load her up on different concoctions without so much as hearing her story first, and it spiraled her into darkness I struggled with all through high school.
I came home after my last day as a senior in high school and found that she had taken her own life.
No child should ever have to see their mother like that. No person should ever have to go through seeing a loved one in that position. I sank to my back, holding back the tears as I closed my eyes.
My psychology degree was all about trying to understand her, to try and unpack her mind to figure out how a mother could leave their child behind that way. Together with the addiction that had taken my father away from me as well, I had a wealth of personal experience to put to good use.
It led me to the passion I now had burning in my gut.
A ding on my computer interrupted my thoughts. I pulled myself from the floor and wiped at my face, hoping no one walked by to see my reddened eyes. I navigated to my email and clicked on the letter, hoping it was the updated assignment my professor had sent us an alert about that morning. Instead, I saw I had a new P.A. offer.
I clicked on the email and read over the details. The moment I saw what was required of me, I hovered my mouse over the ‘decline’ button. The whole point of me taking this job was because it worked with my school schedule. I could work in my little cubby and remotely from my apartment on the weekends, and I could help people while still doing my schoolwork. I could flip between someone’s schedule and my school assignment without ever skipping a beat.
But this assignment would definitely require hands-on work.
This assignment required real-world work. Constant face-to-face interaction. I sat down in my chair as I read over the details, my mind swirling with all the things that would be required of me: updates to a manager named Hank, time management of this guy’s schedule, keeping tabs on his drinking?
Who the hell was this guy?
I came across the name ‘Drake Blackthorn’ and did a quick Google search. The sheer amount of information that popped up on him was startling. He was a real rock star, by all sorts of definitions. What stood out most to me were his deep blue eyes. This man was incredibly attractive.
A country music singer with a penchant for drinking on stage, for one. I flipped back to the email and read through the personal message sent by someone named ‘Hank,’ outlining his plea for someone who could help him ‘whip Drake back into shape.’
I wasn’t a fucking personal trainer. I was a personal assistant whose specialty was helping people manage their time and their mindsets. What in the world did they think I could do?
Flipping through article after article on this guy, I did my homework. According to the tabloids, he struggled with a severe drinking problem. Every picture I found of him either had him on stage with a six-pack of beer or had him in a bar throwing back something that looked like whiskey. Possibly bourbon.
But the man did enjoy his beer.
I clicked through to YouTube and started listening to snippets of his songs. A couple of them I recognized in passing, but country music wasn’t really my thing. It was nice, and I enjoyed the culture and the relaxed atmosphere that came with the country lifestyle, but I grew up on different music. I grew up with my mother listening to jazz and the blues. Men who could wail on pianos and saxophones, and women who could pick a bass as good as any man. Those were the types of tunes I enjoyed. That was the kind of music that got me swaying in a crowd.
Not twangy banjos and chewed-up words.
I continued to play his songs on YouTube and actually liked what I heard. They felt raw and real.
I clicked back over to the tabloid articles as his voice filled my little cubicle, causing people to turn their heads and look at me as I scanned through his interviews.
One of the interviewers brought up the tragic deaths of his late wife and daughter four years ago, to a drunk driver. How awful. I thought about how that could have changed him. Something like that could break a man.
So why the hell was he living the life of a play boy? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was a piece of work, a rowdy womanizer that wasn’t ashamed of it at all. He sugar-coated it nicely, but it was there. But as I looked deeper I saw there was something different about him. The sly grin on his face was indicative of a mask. His smile never reached his eyes.
Maybe he was still broken from his past.
One thing I knew for sure, he was miserable, and I could see it within the first few seconds of one of his most recent interviews.