“Daddy, you have to rest.”
“I want you to listen to me,” he said. “I’m tired. The room is decorated. You guys have done enough.”
“I’m not leaving you on Christmas Eve, Dad. You can forget it.”
“You need rest just as much as I do and you won’t get it here,” he said.
“I’m. Not. Leaving. You.”
“You will do as you’re told, young lady. Now, go home and rest.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Why in the world was my father sending me away on Christmas Eve? This was our tradition. This was what we always did. Ever since Mom died, we promised one another to keep her favorite tradition alive and well.
It always made it feel like she was here.
“But Mom…” I said breathlessly.
“Will always be here with us,” my father said. “Go spend Christmas Eve with these fine boys. Let me sleep. That’s what I want. To just rest.”
I felt tears streaming down my face before I leaned over to kiss my father’s hand.
“Okay,” I said, whispering. “But I’m coming back first thing in the morning. Before the sun even rises.”
“I wouldn’t expect… anything…”
It was so much effort for my father to talk, so I simply kissed his lips to silence him. I saw a lopsided smile crawl across his face and I put one more kiss on his forehead for good measure. His skin was so pale and the tubes running in and out of his body were so numerous. I was trying to be strong. I was trying to give him what he needed.
But I couldn’t shake the fact that I was about to lose my own father over Christmas.
“Before the sun comes up,” I said.
He squeezed my hand. Then I allowed myself to drop my father’s hand.
“You ready, Mr. Lancaster?” the doctor asked.
My father nodded.
I stood there with my Lost Boys while they wheeled my father out of the room. Already, his eyes were closing shut and I felt a tug to want to go after him. I wanted to gather him up in my arms, like he always did for me when I was scared, and tell him everything was going to be okay. I felt arms draping over me while I cried and watched the nurses take my father away for more tests while I was simply expected to go home and sleep.
Like I could just fucking sleep while my father withered away in the hospital all alone.
Somehow, I got out to Blake’s car. Somehow, I got back to the Trent house. Somehow, I got settled onto the couch with a cup of hot apple cider in my hand and, by the time I processed my surroundings, Chance had turned on a football game. The Eagles were hosting the Raiders this evening and, soon, Owen and Harper came trudging through the doors. The two of them sat down next to me and warmed me with their bodies. Their eyes studied me closely as I sighed with contentment.
Finally, my boys were all together in one room and I felt like I could finally relax.
“I think the Eagles have this one,” Chance said.
“Are you an idiot?” Ethan asked. “The Raiders are gonna kick ass.”
“I’m with Ethan on this one,” Owen said.
“Same here,” Harper said.
“All of you are wrong,” Rowan said. “The Eagles are gonna slaughter them. Have you seen their offense this year?”
“Their defense is weak, though,” Blake said. “I think it’s gonna be a pretty even game.”
“You gotta pick one,” I said. “Because I’m not gonna lie, I think the Raiders got this.”