It was little boy's voice on the stairs behind us. “Hi.”
I flinched as if I'd been hit, and so did Evan. I turned, slowly, gritting my teeth, but putting on the most genuine smile I could muster.
“Hey, Grayson,” I said, swallowing hard and trying to not look so damn guilty. “Where's your grandma?”
“She's still in bed,” he said. “Why were you in bed with my mom?”
I looked at Evan, who decided to take this question, “We were playing games last night, and just fell asleep,” he said.
“What kind of games?”
“Adult games,” I said, and Evan punched me in the arm. “I mean, games for grownups.”
“Oh,” he said. He continued to stare down at us.
“We'll see you later, little man,” I said.
“Bye,” he said.
He turned and went back toward Hadley's room, and both of us breathed a sigh of relief. We slipped out the door and ran across the lawn, into our parent's backyard and into the guest house, laughing like we'd just gotten away with something.
CHAPTER TWELVE
HADLEY
I stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes before finally climbing out of bed and throwing on some clothes. My head was spinning and throbbing at the same time, a not-so-delightful consequence of drinking so much the night before and all of the stress currently racking my brain.
Thankfully, I hadn't been so drunk that I'd forgotten what had happened. I remembered everything, in almost excruciating detail. It wasn't regret ravaging my body. It was something – else. Something I couldn't identify. But something that weighed heavily upon me nonetheless.
Everything I'd done last night, with all three of them, I'd wanted to do. I’d wanted all of them – and the sex with all three of them had been amazing. It was everything I'd ever wanted and more. I wasn't lying about wanting the baby either, and if I managed to get pregnant, it would be a dream come true in many ways.
Yet, part of me feared what it might mean for my friendship with the brothers. We wouldn't have to discover who the father was, but that might make things even more awkward. Gabe had up and left after we'd had sex in the hot tub, and I didn't think he'd ever be okay with sharing me. What happened last night might have ruined things with Gabe for once and for all. If everything else that happened between us hadn't already ruined it, sleeping with his other two brothers may have finally put him over the edge.
Except, I'd wanted to do it still. Even knowing the consequences, I couldn't say no. I cared about all three of them so much, it made my heart hurt to think about. They all struck a chord deep within me. It was powerful and overwhelming – and I couldn't explain it.
I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time that morning. I was conflicted between feeling happy about what happened and feeling bad about it. After all, good girls didn't sleep with multiple men in one night. Did that make me a slut? Did I care? So many questions, and so much guilt, and it wasn't even seven in the morning yet.
Grayson knocked gently on the door again.
“Yes, baby?” I said, wiping the tears that had fallen from my eyes.
“What's taking so long?” he asked.
“I'm coming, sweetie,” I said.
I wasn't sure how I'd be able to face the brothers again anytime soon. Especially Gabe. My head was foggy, and I couldn't think straight. My emotions were all over the place and I was a total mess. Not to mention, the guilt that coursed through my body ran deep. Guilt not just over what I'd done to Gabe, but over what I'd done to Chris’ memory. My mother was waiting for me in the hallway w
hen I finally came out of my room, already dressed and ready for the day. She shook her head when she saw me.
“Wild night?” she asked.
There was disappointment in her voice, making me feel like a stupid sixteen-year old girl all over again. Hell, last night, I guess I'd acted like one too.
“Yeah, I think I'll lay off the drinking for a while,” I said.
She crossed her arms in front of her chest and continued scrutinizing me. I knew that look all too well, it was the look that said she knew something, but was waiting for me to tell her. I had one chance to get it right. So, I punted and waited for her to ask the question I saw in her eyes.
“What is it?” I asked.