“Why didn’t she tell me?” Damon asked, his brows drawn in, shoulders stiff. “Once she left, I never heard from her again.”
Even through years of rivalry and more recently while working here in a more personal setting, Nash had never seen Damon so stunned.
“When she left to take on a new role at another farm, she had no idea she was pregnant.” Nash rested his elbows on his knees, lacing his fingers together as he looked from his half-sisters to his father. “From what she told me, by the time she found out and got the courage to come back and tell you, she was about eight months pregnant. She worried you wouldn’t believe her, or that you would marry her just for the baby and she didn’t want you to feel trapped. But she wanted you to know. She said she came back to town and all the buzz was about you and Rose and your recent engagement.”
Nash recalled his mother’s watery confession when she’d begged him to forgive her for not following through and going to Damon. She’d apologized for keeping Nash from his biological father and said that the years of seeing them as rivals in the industry had nearly killed her.
But how could Nash blame her or be angry? She was young, alone and scared. He sure as hell had no place to judge anyone keeping a secret.
“She told me she didn’t want to ruin your relationship with your fiancée,” Nash went on. “So she ended up having me and raising me on her own.”
The words settled in the air and Nash had to fight to keep from reaching out for Lily’s hand. He wanted her familiar touch for support, but more than anything he wanted to reassure her that their baby would always know her place in a family.
Damon rubbed his forehead as if still processing all this information. “Did she ever marry?”
Was he asking as a man who once cared for Nash’s mother or was Damon asking from a father’s standpoint, worried about his son having a male role model?
“She did when I was about ten.”
“Yet you still have her last name,” Damon said, shifting in his seat. “Your stepfather didn’t adopt you?”
This was the part of coming clean that was about to get tricky. He had to proceed cautiously because one slip of the tongue and all hell would break loose as the complete truth was finally revealed.
“He did,” Nash replied. “I chose to still use my mother’s maiden name.”
Okay, that was a lie, but Damon couldn’t know Nash’s true identity...not until Nash was ready to share that fact. And the first person he owed the real truth to was Lily.
Wow, his priorities had definitely shifted since he’d first arrived at Stony Ridge Acres. When the hell did that happen? When did contemplating his next step automatically have his mind shifting to how Lily would react or how Lily would feel?
“So you’ve been here all this time...spying on us?” Tessa asked, her eyes narrowed as she took both hands and shoved her hair away from her face. “Why not say something right at first? Why the lies?”
Nash cleared his throat. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to reveal the truth, to be honest. I’ve always worked with horses and before I could really make up my mind on how to handle the situation after I learned the truth, the groom position came open. I couldn’t pass it up.”
“You couldn’t have told us who you were before now?” Cassie’s eyes were softer, yet still guarded like her sister’s.
Yes, he could’ve, but he’d been busy trying to buy out Damon’s prizewinning horses and in his spare time he’d been getting naked with Lily. His priorities had taken a hard turn into unexpected territory.
“I understand this makes an impact on all of your lives,” he began, choosing his words carefully. “I had to see if this was even a family that would welcome me, or if I should keep the secret and eventually just leave quietly.”
Lily did reach over now and squeezed his hand. The gesture wasn’t lost on the Barrington sisters whose eyes darted in their direction.
Nash didn’t want to think how that silent action truly spoke volumes for how supportive Lily was and how, right at this moment, his emotions meant more to her than what other people assumed or thought. Damn it. He didn’t deserve her loyalty, her kindness and innocence. He was lying to her and no matter how he justified it, no matter how he knew there had been no way around the secrets, he was still in a relationship with a woman who didn’t even know his real name.
“And you’ve deemed us fit to be in your life now?” Tessa came to her feet, tugged the hem of her shirt down and crossed her arms. “I’m skeptical, for sure, but more than anything I’m a little hurt you basically spied on us.”