I close my eyes and concentrate on taking slow breaths. It’s starting to look like I really only have one choice. If I can’t stage an assault to save the men or sneak them out, there’s only one path left, no matter how foolhardy it sounds.
I have to walk through the front gate and declare myself my father’s heir.
4
I manage to clean up the blood before I pass out again. This time, when I wake up surrounded by mist, there’s no confusion. I climb to my feet, already looking for whichever one of my men waits for me. Mist swirls at my feet as I start walking, searching the opaque space for familiar forms.
When I see three of them, I almost sob. I break into a run. One step. Two. On the third I’m amongst them. Malachi with his broad shoulders and long dark hair. Rylan who manages to look put together and vaguely annoyed despite the gaunt lines in his cheeks. And Wolf, all wild eyes and fury.
He’s the one who grabs my shoulders. “You’re pregnant.”
The mist around us seems to dampen the sound, but the other two men go even quieter in response to his words. I don’t look at them. I can’t. I just give a shaky nod. “I am. I felt it the day you were taken, but I took a test to confirm.”
Wolf releases me like I’ve burned him. “Is that why we can’t feel her? I thought it was the drugs.”
“It could be both.” Rylan speaks from almost directly behind me. Even his voice is raspier than normal. “Not much is known about seraphim pregnancy. They always disappeared during those months, and any record of it has long since been destroyed.”
“You should have told us.”
I turn to face Malachi, but he’s not looking at me. He’s looking at Rylan, his dark brows pulled together. “If there’s a risk to her because of this—”
“Wake up, Malachi. There’s a risk to all of us. She’s not the one currently chained and injected with poison.”
My stomach drops. “I’m getting you out.” I don’t tell them that I’m exhausted. That I can’t seem to keep down a single bite of food. That I can’t touch the well of magic inside me that only seems to get farther and farther from the tips of my fingers with every day that passes. All of that might be true, but in the end it’s just an excuse.
They’re suffering more than I am.
They have more at stake if I fail.
“No.” Malachi shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous. We’ll figure something out.”
“Like you figured out a way to escape that house?” He spent a hundred years trapped and slowly starving between sacrifices my father sent him. I can’t bear the thought of him suffering through that again, let alone Rylan and Wolf, too. I glare up at him. “Out of the question.”
In fact, as I look from one of them to the other, they all show marks of starvation. It shouldn’t have happened this quickly; it hasn’t even been a week and we all but glutted ourselves on blood before the capture. Yes, we were essentially just passing it back and forth but…
The sinking feeling in my chest gets worse. “You weren’t feeding the way you needed to before this.”
Suddenly Malachi won’t quite meet my gaze. It’s Rylan who answers, “I was.” Which all but admits that the other two weren’t.
I knew he’d ranged farther than Malachi and Wolf, but it hadn’t occurred to me that he was effectively working as hunter for our entire group until now. It should have. I take a step back so I can see all three of them. “Feed from me.” I don’t know if it will work in dreams, but this isn’t a normal dream or we wouldn’t be able to meet like this at all. Malachi starts to shake his head and I grab his arm. “Feed from me. If you want me to find another way, then you need to stay alive and healthy enough to fight when I come for you.” I don’t know what plan I can possibly come up with on my own, but I’ll say anything to decrease their current suffering.
Malachi still looks like he wants to argue. Even Wolf holds back, something serious and worried in his pale blue eyes. I know he’s thinking of the last time we met like this and the information I compelled out of him.
Strangely enough, it’s Rylan who steps forward. “We don’t know what it will do to you. Or if it will work at all.”
“Might as well try it.” I have been so damn helpless from the start of this. I don’t want to be helpless anymore. If I can lessen their suffering at all, even a little, I want to do that. I need to do that.