Chapter 19
FINLAY
It’s on the tip of my tongue to beg Ethan to stay the night, but I can’t force the words out as I walk out onto the porch with him.
My mind’s still reeling from the messages, and I keep telling myself it’s just a wrong number. But my heart thunders in my chest, and my eyes keep darting around me, looking for any sign of him.
I’m probably overreacting because Dad left, and I feel vulnerable. The nightmare’s rushing back now that Dad’s not here to fight it off.
That’s all it is.
I’ve been able to push the trauma down into a box and seal the lid tight, and now that I’m alone, I’m not strong enough to keep the lid shut.
That’s all it is.
“Finlay,” Ethan murmurs softly, making my eyes snap to his face. He gives me a worried look. “You sure you’re okay? I don’t mind staying.”
God, please stay. You can sleep on the couch. Just don’t leave me alone.
I force myself to nod. “Just tired.”
He tilts his head, his eyes drifting over my face. “You’ve got my number. Call if you need me.”
I nod again. “Thank you.”
A caring smile curves his lips, and it makes me want to cling to him. My fingers itch to grab hold of his hand, but instead of doing that, I quickly wrap my arms around my mid-section.
Ethan presses a quick kiss to my forehead, and as he takes a step away from me, I can’t stop myself and take one forward. He freezes, the frown on his forehead deepening, then he shakes his head. “Why does it feel like you don’t want me to go?”
I don’t. God, I don’t.
I swallow hard and force an awkward chuckle over my dry lips. “Ah… I was thinking of asking you if you wanted coffee, or tea… or hot chocolate.”
Say yes. Please say yes.
“You know I have a weakness for hot chocolate. Throw in those little marshmallows, and I’m done for.”
A relieved smile crashes over my face. “I’ve got those!” I dart into the house and start making the hot chocolate, not giving him time to change his mind.
I know he must be tired after the day’s work, but I just want him here a little longer. Every minute I can keep him here means one less minute I have to be alone.
I hear the door shut and glance over my shoulder. Seeing Ethan come toward the kitchen, another wave of relief crashes over me.
Who would’ve thought the guy I tried to avoid when I got here because his rough exterior scared the crap out of me would become one of the few people I feel safe with?
There’s nothing about Ethan that scares me any longer. His icy-blue eyes now calm me. Knowing he’s stronger than me gives me a sense of comfort that he can protect me. His easy-going personality makes me feel comfortable with him.
Over the past two weeks, my feelings for him have grown, and I know it’s only a matter of time before I fall head over heels in love with him.
My phone beeps, scaring the living hell out of me. My body jerks, and with a startled shriek, I swing around. I bump a cup off the counter, and it bounces on the wood, luckily not breaking.
My heartbeat speeds up so fast, it forces my breaths to burst over my lips as my eyes lock on the couch where the phone is lying, fear prickling all over my body.
I’m too scared to look at the message. It could be from Dad, but I’m just too frightened.
Ethan comes around the kitchen table and crouching near me, he picks up the cup and sets it back on the counter.
“Fin?” His voice is nothing but a mere whisper, but it holds enough power to pull my gaze away from the couch and to his face. He’s not even trying to hide his worry anymore as he looks down at me. “I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong. Let me help.”
I swallow hard, and the words bubble inside me, but I can’t force them over my lips, scared it would make my attacker materialize right in front of me.
“I’m just jumpy with Dad being gone.”
Ethan shakes his head lightly, taking a deep breath, and it’s clear he doesn’t believe me.
He hesitates for a moment but then slowly lifts his arm, pausing before he places his hand on my shoulder. His touch makes the fear retreat, and my body sways closer to his.
His movements are cautious, and I know it’s because he’s being careful not to scare me.
And it means so much to me.
This is why I feel safe with Ethan. He’s gone above and beyond to make me comfortable around him. He’s never forced anything.
He takes a step closer, his cologne filling the air I’m breathing.