My life may be in tattered ruins right now, but I will stay in this hospital for as long as Aurora needs me to. Maybe by the time she’s discharged, I will have figured out what my next step should be.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Graham
“I’m Dr. Morgan.” The man standing in front of me extends a hand. “Gaines Morgan.”
I take his hand in mine. “Graham Locke. It’s good to meet you.”
I glance past him to where Lloyd is resting. He’s been transferred to the cardiac care unit. The doctor in the emergency department assured me that Lloyd would be in the hands of one of the best cardiologists in the city.
I assume I’m talking to him.
“Is this the end?” I blurt out. “He told me he doesn’t have long to live. Will I get a few minutes with him to say goodbye?”
Dr. Morgan rubs a hand over his chin. “Lloyd told me the same thing. He’s mistaken.”
Shaking my head, I try and absorb what he just said. “I don’t understand.”
“I spoke with his cardiologist in Paris.”
“You did?”
“Briefly.” He chuckles. “I got him out of bed. He happens to be an old friend of a friend.”
I rake a hand through my hair. “What did he tell you?”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “One of the arteries in Lloyd’s heart has narrowed. To repair that, we need to insert a cardiac stent in the artery. That will open it and allow the blood to flow freely.”
I move slightly to the left to get a better view of Lloyd. “He knew that before he left Paris?”
“He’s known that for some time.”
“Why was he waiting to have it done?” I try and make sense of it all. “It’s a fairly straightforward procedure, isn’t it? The mother of a friend of mine had it done a few years ago.”
“It’s very straightforward.”
“What the hell?” I fist my hands at my sides. “I’m missing something here. He told me his heart wasn’t going to last much longer. He made it sound as though he had only a few months to live.”
Dr. Morgan’s hand jumps to my shoulder. “Lloyd believes all of that. He didn’t hear it from a doctor. His heart is telling him that.”
I shake my head. “What?”
“Mr. Abdon has a broken heart.” He lowers his voice. “I’ve seen this before. It’s not uncommon after devastating losses.”
I swallow to contain my emotion. “His wife’s death…”
“Has been more than he can bear,” he goes on, “Lloyd doesn’t feel hopeful. He is in deep emotional pain, and to him, even this simple procedure seems unnecessary.”
“He wants to die?”
He steps back. “It’s not a conscious decision. He’s given up. He’s experiencing a level of grief that is impossible for most people to grasp.”
I silently curse myself for not seeing this. I didn’t comprehend the depth of Lloyd’s struggle after Sela’s death.
“He was distraught before I sedated him,” he goes on, “Lloyd wanted out of here so he could get to the scattering garden before sunset. I told him the sun had set hours ago, but he wanted me to call him a car to take him to New Jersey.”
I stare at him. “He wanted to go to New Jersey?”
“To the memorial park,” he says it as though I’m completely aware of what the hell he’s talking about. “My grandfather is in that same scattering garden. It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?”
After Sela’s funeral, Lloyd explained that she wanted her ashes spread in a special spot. She also wanted to live out their last days in Paris. They never had time to make that a reality, which is why Lloyd was insistent on moving to France. He told me he wanted to make her wish come true. I assumed that’s where he spread her ashes.
I take a stab in the dark. “Sela is there too.”
He nods. “And LJ. I can’t fathom the pain of losing a child. Lloyd spoke about his son with such reverence and grace. He sounds like he was an amazing young man.”
“What’s our next step?” I ask Dr. Morgan when he comes back into Lloyd’s room.
Another doctor called him out into the corridor, but he assured me with a pat on my back that he’d be back within ten minutes.
A glance at my watch tells me he’s a man of his word. Only eight minutes have passed.
I’ve spent every second of those eight minutes at Lloyd’s bedside watching him sleep, trying to make sense of the fact that he had a son. He has never once mentioned LJ to me.
“I want to get that stent in his heart,” he says clearly. “I need his permission for that, so once the sedation wears off, I’ll have another go at him. I’m a persuasive bastard. I’m confident we’ll get it done today.”
I let out a chuckle. “You seem like the man for the job.”