After countless conversations with Joe, I decided to try.
We celebrated Noah’s fourth birthday and a week later, here I was, in my first class of medical school.
I was still grinning like an idiot when I turned over the first page of my notebook. I wished I had a computer to take notes on, I could already tell that my hand was going to be exhausted by the end of class. I stretched my hand and continued writing.
As the professor spoke, my mind had less chances to drift. The content became more complicated and I didn’t want to miss a single word. I made a mental note to bring a recorder to my all my classes this year. These lessons were too important, I couldn’t risk making a mistake.
I had sacrificed so much to just be in medical school. It was Noah’s last year before he started kindergarten and I had been looking forward to spending time with him. Now, I would see him less and less. This year would fly by and he would be in school in no time. The idea brought tears to my eyes, but I knew I was doing the right thing.
Noah deserved a mom who chased her dreams. Not one who sat around and lived a mediocre life. I had to teach him how to fight for things. I had to show what was truly important in life.
So far, I thought I had done a good job raising him. He was a sweet, polite little boy. All his daycare teachers loved him. His uncle Joe was his best friend and my friends adored him.
Still, I wanted more for him than a cramped one bedroom apartment. I wanted to give him everything.
As class continued, I glanced around the room again. I couldn’t stare at my notebook any longer. My eyes were beginning to water. I squeezed them closed and looked around me. It was a short break, but it was long enough to take in the faces of my fellow students. There were so few of us that I knew I would learn everyone’s name by the end of the month. We would be in all the same classes and labs. Our clinical would be together. At the end of these four years, I imagined we would all be like family.
When my eyes fell on a familiar face, I almost fell out of my chair.
I felt my body go weak and my heart begin to race. I blinked hard, sure I was seeing things. When I looked back at him, I knew I wasn’t mistaken.
It was Wyatt.
Wyatt Murphy was sitting three rows in front of me with his eyes locked on the professor. I could only see the side of his face, but it was enough. I would know him anywhere.
Wyatt’s sandy blonde hair was shorter than I remembered. It no longer covered his face, but it was still long enough that he had to toss it out of his eyes every few minutes. The curve of his nose and the set of his chin looked so familiar it made my heart ache.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. Class was almost over, but I had completely lost where I was. My notes lay forgotten in front of me and I couldn’t hear a word the professor said.
My ears were ringing and my pulse was still picking up speed. Shit.
I watched Wyatt closely, wondering why he was there. The last thing I knew about Wyatt Murphy was that he was stationed overseas.
I didn’t even know he was back home. I wondered how long he had been back in Bradberry, if he was staying with his mom, if he was out of the Army for good, and a thousand other things.
My mind was racing when the professor dismissed us. His words shook me back to reality and I jerked my head away from Wyatt. The need to get away from his presence had me grabbing my things and haphazardly packing them into my bag.
I needed to ge
t out of there, and fast.
I flew out of the room a few seconds later like hounds from hell were nipping at my heels. I was the first one in the hallway and I didn’t stop running until I reached the women’s restroom.
I hurled myself into a stall and fell against the wall.
Breathing heavy, I tried to calm down, but I couldn’t.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit!
Everything was spinning and I didn’t know how to make it stop. If Wyatt was in that class, he would be in all the others. I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever, but I also wasn’t ready to face him. Not after the way things ended between us.
Over four years ago, Wyatt left town with barely a goodbye. We had been together for years, but he didn’t bother to discuss his decision to enlist with me. His father died and Wyatt pulled away from everyone and everything he once loved.
Everyone including me.
He became a different person. Someone I didn’t recognize.
A sad, lonely soul.