“How do you take it?”
“You don’t remember from the coffee shop?”
“Is that one of my requirements?” I asked.
“Nope, I’m just picking with you. Cream and sugar, not too much of either,” she said.
“Sit down. I’ll get you a plate.”
“Do you need any help with anything?”
I turned around and noticed her eyes dancing around my kitchen.
“Ava, look at me.”
Her eyes found mine once again and her blatant innocence shook my knees. She was beautiful. Untouched until she came bounding up on my doorstep last night. I knew I needed to ask why she was here. I knew I needed to figure out what the hell was going on with her. But something inside of me told me to bite my tongue on the matter.
“You are not obligated to do anything here you don’t want to do. If you want to help, help. If you want to sit and stare off, then sit and stare off,” I said.
Her face crinkled up in confusion. Like I was throwing her some sort of foreign concept.
And it killed me that I was. To her, doing what she wanted was just as foreign to her as the Tagalog language was to me. Making her own decisions was just as alien of an idea to her as sex. She understood what it entailed. She understood that other people could do it. But when it came to her, she had no idea how the concept personally operated.
“I’ll… sit down then,” she said.
“Coffee’s almost ready.”
“Could I… change something?” she a
sked.
I turned my gaze over toward her as she lost herself in thought.
“Could I just do cream? In my coffee?” she asked.
I put down the spoonful of sugar and added a bit more creamer.
“Of course you can,” I said. “All you have to do is ask.”
Thirteen
Ava
I enjoyed being at Travis’ cabin. He was interesting to talk to and a comfort to be around. I felt like I could be myself and make my own decisions without him judging me for them. We ate breakfast together in silence as I studied him, and every once in awhile his eye could catch mine. I enjoyed the way he made me feel. His eyes would rake down my body when he thought I wasn’t looking, pulling from me a desire I hadn’t ever felt before. The pleasure he had washed over my body last night had taken my breath away, but it also started my mind whirling with thoughts.
Him making me communicate to him about what I wanted got me thinking about other things I wanted. From life, from myself, and from my family. I knew I needed to get away from them, but I didn’t really want to. I would miss my brothers too much, but I had somehow convinced myself that my only course of action was to run. I had other roads. I could stand up to my father and tell him what I thought. I could tell him what I was going to do with my life instead of caving to his every notion. I could make a life for myself that still had my brothers in it instead of casting them aside as I fled to California.
Plus, I had no idea what I would do when I got to California. I had no formal education and no knowledge of the culture there. I didn’t know what kind of people lived there or what kind of company I could build for myself. But there was one company I was knowledgeable about. One company I had grown up around my entire life. There was one company I knew I could have input in. One I could help.
One I was born into.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Travis asked.
“Honestly? I’m thinking about standing up to my father,” I said.
“That’s a pretty hefty goal from what you’ve told me about him in passing.”
“I know, but the road I’m on now really isn’t one I want to be on,” I said.