CHAPTER 1
Alicia
I held her in my arms and inhaled her sweet scent while tears ran down my cheeks.
I loved her, but couldn’t keep her.
When they pulled her away from me, she cried as they left the room. The sound made my heart shattered.
I turned over and felt the scratchy hospital sheets against my skin, crying just like she was. It wasn’t because I was hungry or tired though. I was scared and my heart was completely broken.
And it was entirely his fault.
I died a little that day.
Five Years Later
I watched his eyes, knowing precisely what was coming before it happened.
Don't say it, don't say it, I pleaded in my head
“It's not you, it's me.”
Whoop there it is. He fucking said it, just like the seven other guys I’d dated in the past three years.
Why was there always something wrong with them? I was starting not to believe them anymore—instead, thinking there was something wrong with me.
I put a hand over my forehead and tried to ignore prying eyes from nearby tables. My dark ringlets fell over my face, covering my reddening cheeks.
This was another restaurant I would have to cross off the list. Thank goodness New York had thousands of them, because I'd suffered break-ups in at least a dozen by now.
I stared at the napkin on the table. Loose Joe’s.
Sorry Joe, I thought. No matter how loose you are, we’re never seeing each other again, which sucks because this cheesesteak reminds me of home.
“I mean, I guess I'm just not ready for how serious you are,” my new ex began to explain. “I need a little bit more fun in my life.”
So I’m not fun? I immediately wished he’d kept his explanation to himself because it was just making things worse.
I sighed. “Not that this isn’t great information and everything, but I think it's time for the check.”
Minutes later, I was rushing to the door. I tried my best to be inconspicuous, but accidentally ran directly into a waiter, who subsequently spilled water all over me.
Clearly, it just wasn’t my day.
As I attempted to hail a taxi, my phone rang. I looked down, seeing that it was my older sister, Allie. I wanted to press ignore, but it was the third time she’d called me; if I kept ignoring her, she would just keep calling.