Laurie gave her shoulder a playful shove and shook her head. “Yeah, right?”
The phone in Chloe’s front pocket began to trill an alarm. They were on an extended lunch break from work, so she had to keep on schedule. She hushed it and leaned back into the hard wooden pew.
Time for a new round of auditions for a much more important role. She needed a Joseph for her mini modern day Christmas musical. A man with the voice of an angel and enough acting skills to move an audience to tears. He was out there, but finding him in this town was going to be like searching for a needle in her mother’s junk drawer.
“Let’s bring out the first candidate,” she shouted to Vicky, the church secretary manning the front for Chloe.
Through the double doors to the rectory entered Calvin Nelson. He’d graduated two years behind her in New Hope’s public high school, but she remembered who he was. All star athlete. Handsome as a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day. Beautiful man, all around.
“Starting this show off on a good foot,” she whispered to Laurie, who giggled. “What do you have for us, Calvin?”
He smiled, displaying two rows of beautifully straight teeth. Then, running a hand through his jet black hair, he dropped to his knees and did a stunning rendition of an excerpt from Hamlet. The ladies watched breathlessly. They gripped the back of the next row of pews, hanging on his every word.
“Beautiful, beautiful,” Chloe shouted when he was finished, clapping her freshly polished red manicure. “I think we can call off the rest of the auditions,” she added to Laurie out of the corner of her mouth.
“I think you’re forgetting one minor thing.” She held up her finger and shook her head.
“What?” Chloe wanted to throw the hymnal at her. “Can’t you see? The man is perfect.”
“Yes, but can he sing?” She held up a copy of the piano music Chloe had given her that morning. “You seem to have forgotten that the manger scene you wrote includes a beautiful solo piece from Joseph. You might want to have Calvin sing a few notes.”
Chloe pressed her lips together and clenched her teeth, but couldn’t get too angry. Her friend had a point. Maybe she was jumping the gun. “Okay, Calvin. I need you to sing a bar or two for us, just so we can get an idea of your singing voice.”
He grinned and leaned against the piano, flashing a Hollywood smile. “No problem, ladies. How about a little 8 Mile?”
Chloe glanced at Laurie, momentarily confused. She’d never heard of a musical called 8 Mile. Laurie seemed similarly bewildered by the way her eyebrows pinched in the middle. They didn’t have to wait long to discover what he meant - Calvin leapt into a hacking and spitting version of Eminem’s 8 Mile rap, causing Chloe to shudder wit
h instant dislike.
“Wait, wait, wait!” She waved her hand, trying to bring her potential Joseph back down to Earth. He’d lost himself in the lyrics and was using the back of the piano as a drum. Finally, she caught his attention mid chorus and his voice trailed off. “I need a song. An actual song. Can’t you sing a couple lines of Les Mis? Or, Phantom? Or maybe West Side Story?”
Calvin shrugged helplessly, his mouth falling open.
“How about a Christmas carol?” Laurie jumped in. Chloe nodded in agreement. “Sing a Christmas song. Any song.”
He wrung his hands, no longer the cool and confident boy Chloe could remember from back in high school. “I know Away in a Manger. Is that cool?”
“Yes.” She practically jumped out of the pew. “Perfect. Let’s hear it.”
Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the rafters of the church and opened his mouth. From behind his teeth came the most awful, raspy sound that grated on Chloe’s ears. Unfortunately, Calvin didn’t seem to notice. He got nearly through the entire first verse before the girls waved him off.
“That’s enough,” Chloe said through gritted teeth. She forced a cheerful smile. “We’ll let you know.”
“Thanks, babes.” He ran his hands through his hair and winked at them. “Later.”
It wasn’t until he left through the double doors that Chloe grabbed Laurie’s arm in a claw-like grip and squeezed. “He sounded like a dying bird. I thought I was going to have to drill a hole through my brain to survive.”
She smiled sympathetically. “He wasn’t that bad.”
“It was worse than hearing a walrus bellow.”
“He had his merits.”
“Worse than listening to my Uncle Bernie snore.”
“The important part is he tried.”
“Worse than hearing my sister and her fiance make out next to me at the movies.”