By God, he prayed she wasn’t crying.
“Scarlett.” His voice was uncharacteristically tender. “Nothing is set in stone. You may retire to the room next door if that is what you want.” The muscles in his stomach wrenched at the thought. “We have plenty of time to examine the connection that exists between us.”
Damn, he shocked himself. A master of seduction offering his lady a perfect excuse to say no?
When she opened her eyes, he expected to see them awash with doubt. But the blue gems shone with the widow’s self-assurance. “Holding you to your word is not the only reason I sought you out. I hinted at another reason once.”
She had revealed so many secrets he struggled to remember. “What other reason could you have for approaching me, other than reminding me of my oath?” He thought he knew the answer but wanted to hear the words from her lips. It wouldn’t do to appear presumptuous.
“It’s as you said yesterday.” She raised her chin and inhaled before continuing. “A connection exists between us. I felt it three years ago, and I feel it now.” Her breath came a little quicker. “Oh, Wycliff, whatever it is, it beats so strongly in my breast.”
Her honesty proved as arousing as her voluptuous curves.
“I can no longer deny it, either.” Having lost her once, he’d be damned if he’d do so again. “But I’ll not press you into exploring a physical relationship if you’re not ready.”
Besides, he was somewhat strict about the way he conducted illicit relations. Never had he spilt his seed inside a woman. For him, the act was about banishing painful memories, finding release. It was never about a shared connection. Never about the deep, abiding affection he had dreamt about for years. Lord, he wasn’t even sure he was up to the task.
Scarlett placed her hand on his chest. “Because of fear, I let you leave the lodging-house with nothing more than a goodbye. Because of fear, I accepted Lord Steele’s proposal without coming to you for help.”
Damian snorted. “I struggle to understand why you did that.”
“I was weak and couldn’t face another disappointment. I have spent my life waiting at a window, desperately waiting for a man to show he cared.” She shook her head. “I lacked the strength to wait by the window for you, Wycliff.”
He recognised the truth in her words. “Neither of us knew what we wanted then.” He wasn’t sure they knew now.
“No, but we have earned the right to explore this relationship, to know if something real exists between us. And I am tired of being controlled by my mind.”
All this talk of the past had dampened his ardour. And he wanted to get back to when lust and longing burned in his veins.
“Then we must strip off our masks and agree to be honest. Agree to take a leap of faith.” He held out his hand. “Know I won’t hurt you.”
She slipped her hand into his. “Does that mean you intend to bed me, Mr Wycliff?”
“With your permission, I intend to make love to you until we are sated and exhausted. Come.”
Perhaps she thought he might pull her to the bed, but he opened the door, guided her down the stairs and out onto Bruton Street.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” She looked somewhat confused when they came to a halt on the pavement.
“The conversation we just shared was necessary, but I would have us
go back to the moment we jumped from the carriage, ready to rip each other’s clothes in a wildly erotic frenzy.”
“Oh. I see.” Her provocative smile said she was more than willing to indulge his fantasy. “Then let me say you look tired. A dose of laudanum and a good night’s sleep will aid your recovery.”
Damian slipped his arm around her back, indifferent to the fact one of Flannery’s men might be watching them from across the street. “Sleep is not on my list of priorities. I don’t need laudanum. I don’t need rest.”
He leant forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek, another to the corner of her mouth.
She swallowed deeply as her hand skimmed his chest to grip his shoulder. “What do you need?”
“I need you.”
* * *
Scarlett willed her heart to settle. If she could pull on her disguise, she might not appear so nervous, so ridiculously naive. Her experience of the act went as far as squeezing her eyes shut and praying to God for her husband’s quick release. When a woman bedded a man like Damian Wycliff, did she not need a certain skill in the field? Did she not need the confidence of the Scarlet Widow?
But despite her fears, one thought refused to be tempered.