No, I knew what was going through my head. I didn’t love him. Not really. Not truly. So I’d reasoned there was no way I could be hurt by someone I didn’t love.
Though I considered myself a rather reasonable and shrewd person, even I couldn’t have foreseen my fiancé selling me off as payment for a debt.
I couldn’t have foreseen being used like an object by a powerful and dangerous man, being engaged to him under threat. I certainly couldn’t have foreseen being anything but disgusted at the prospect of this.
He scared me and he excited me, both things drawing me to him.
I was pursuing pleasure at all costs.
Pleasure that could be my ruin.
Cristian
The high of Pete’s death didn’t last as long as I thought it would.
I was feeling unnerved.
Because of her.
She was perfect.
She was gorgeous. Broken. Educated. Successful. Cynical about the world. Depraved in a way that would make her fit into this lifestyle, even if she couldn’t admit that to herself just yet. I’d never fucked anyone like her. Never wanted someone like I wanted her.
She was beautiful, of course, fit the image I wanted to portray. Healthy. Would eventually give me an heir, though the idea of children was still something I had an aversion to. My blood was dirty, my family line full of sinners, scoundrels, the lowest of the low. I didn’t know how that could be passed on. Didn’t want to discover what kind of father I’d be. I feared I’d lack the patience, the humanity to raise a child.
But if I was going to be a father, I’d be putting a child in Sienna. No one else.
She’d hate me for some time, that I knew. Hate herself for not saying no to me. I’d expected some kind of scene at dinner last night. More of a fight. I had not expected her to act like she was there of her own volition. Like this wedding was her choice.
I hadn’t expected Sofia to like her. Not because she didn’t think anyone would replace her daughter, she already knew that was true, but because she was sharp, untrusting. She was fiercely protective over this family and the future of it. In addition to that, she knew the way the engagement had come about. She was not happy about it and had told me as much before Sienna made her entrance last night.
“You’re playing with fire, my darling,” she murmured. “If this woman is strong, intelligent like I suspect she may be, she will not do this without a fight. Without trying to take this entire family down.”
Her words had hit true even though I’d told her I had it under control. She’d pursed her lips and made it clear that she didn’t approve, but she didn’t argue further. I was the Don now. Though I respected her opinion and came to her for her advice on many matters, she knew when to back down.
I had suspected Sienna would try to do something to get out of this. It hadn’t surprised me to learn she’d met with Detective Greg Harris. He was the only one left actively trying to bring the organization down. Trying to bring me down. I could’ve had him taken care of, but I was interested to see how far he would go. If anyone in the organization would flip.
No one had.
He kept breathing because despite his efforts, his hatred for me, he never got anything concrete.
But I kept him under surveillance because it served me to see who he was meeting with, to see if there were any familiar faces.
And Sienna had given him the first solid lead he’d had his entire career. The only lead he’d ever get.
It impressed me that she had enough backbone to take the meeting. That she was willing to fight for the life I knew she hated. She was risking her friend and the kid, of course. And that impressed me further. I was planning on making sure she had evidence that looked like it could destroy me. To see how far she was willing to take this.
What remained to be seen was whether she was going to commit to this. To trying to ruin me. Trying to kill what I nurtured inside her.
The problem was, she nurtured something inside of me too. Which made it all the more complicated. If she really found something, tried to serve it to Harris, the only thing to do would be to have Felix take care of her.
It was part of the business. Betrayal like that didn’t have a punishment. Only a death sentence. I hadn’t had to order such executions many times in my life. But I hadn’t hesitated when the time came either.
I would hesitate with Sienna. Fuck, I wouldn’t even have the stomach to do it. After only two fucking days of this shit. Watching her slide that ring on her finger did something to me. Something permanent. Just like seeing her eating dinner with Vincentius and Sofia. Telling her about Isabella.