“She won’t,” he finally broke his silence. “Move on.”
I thought on this. Considered my stubborn, fiery, ruthless bride.
“No,” I agreed. “She won’t. But her heart will still beat. And as long as her heart beats, she will be hungry. I will not have her starve. Now that you know how to feed her, you will do so when the time comes. She will fight. But eventually, she’ll surrender.”
Felix’s jaw was hard and his face blank, but he was considering this, understanding the truth to my words.
“Unless, of course, there is someone else for you. Unless you plan on finding your own bride.”
“No,” he replied immediately. “No, there is no one for me.” It was a vow. A promise set in stone. And Felix did not say anything he didn’t mean.
“Good.” I was simultaneously comforted and disturbed by the thought of what his affirmation meant.
I had been tracking Sienna’s cycles, now that she was off her pill. Though I hadn’t planned it, she was fertile today. On the day I’d let another man empty himself inside of her. It went against everything inside of me. If she got pregnant in the coming weeks, there would be no way to know whether the child was mine or Felix’s.
Which was how it needed to be.
Felix would never lay claim to the child, even if he suspected it was his. He might’ve been fond of Sienna, had an unhealthy connection to her, but he was not capable of loving. Not even his own child. But he would die to protect it. Do the vilest things in the world to ensure its safety. Which was a guarantee I needed as I aged. A sacrifice I was willing to make for her.
I loved her.
Even though I’d promised I would never love another woman after Isabella. Not after what losing her did to me.
Sienna had not given me a choice. She’d stolen whatever passed for my heart, owned me, possessed the power to destroy me if she so wished.
And if her heart stopped beating before mine, then she would destroy this whole fucking family. Because I wouldn’t be able to handle losing her. I’d lose my sanity. My control. I’d burn this whole world down.
Sienna
Cristian knew I wasn’t going to leave.
He wasn’t going to set himself up to be stood up at the altar. Not with some of the most strong and influential families in the country as our guests. This was more than a wedding. I was savvy enough to understand that. This had been in motion long before he’d discovered he had feelings for me.
Before he loved me.
Whatever inside of him was capable of love, at least. That’s what that had been with Felix.
Love.
Warped, twisted, ugly love. But it was all he was capable of. It was all I was capable of.
He knew this. I hadn’t been skilled at hiding who I was from him. He’d seen all of my dark parts the moment he first laid eyes on me. I’d fucking given that to him. And although I liked to think of myself as stronger, I had given everything to him the moment I moved in here. The only sign of my rebellion was me going to Greg Harris, and I’d quickly given up on that.
“Sienna, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about all of the attractive men here. I—”
Jessica stopped talking as her eyes landed on me.
I’d managed to repair my makeup, but my hair was a lost cause. I’d pulled all the pins out and let it fall wild around my face. My cheeks were still a bit flushed, my lips swollen, eyes a little too bright, but I looked good. Not many people would know it was from being well fucked. And those who guessed wouldn’t know I’d been fucked by the groom and what equated to his best man. Though Felix was as far from the best type of man as one could be.
“You look...” Jessica trailed off, walking farther into the room, her eyes glistening.
I was uncomfortable with her show of emotion. With the warmth of her attention.
“I’ve never seen you lost for words,” I joked.
“I never thought I’d see my best friend a bride.” She choked on the last word.
“No crying.” I pointed at her. I could deal with assholes trying to rape me then punching me in the face. Could deal with seeing aforementioned assholes getting their hands cut off. Being in the middle of a multifamily mafia peace accord. Have two of the most dangerous men in the country fuck me like there was no tomorrow.
But a crying woman?
No.
Jessica sniffed, pulling herself together. “Oh, yeah. I forgot you’re a cyborg with no soul,” she quipped.
I rolled my eyes but wondered if she was right about my lack of soul.
“For someone who abhors romance and any version of a happy ever after, you’ve got something remarkably Disney-esque going on out there.” She nodded her head to the windows where the drapes were closed, masking whatever Sofia had arranged.