He sighs heavily. Reaching out, he runs his thumb across my cheek, then wipes it on his already bloody jeans. Am I crying? Not sure why I’d be crying. I feel nothing for that bitch he just killed.
“Come on.” He takes my hand and pulls me to stand, but my legs give out, so he picks me up, cradling me in his arms.
My head hangs off the side of his forearm, and I look up to see Gunner and Prickett pulling Ashley’s lifeless body from the water. They’re still dressed in their cloaks, but their masks are on the floor. I watch them cut the zip ties, and her body falls onto the floor with a thud, then Ryat is walking us out the door, and I can’t see her anymore. A part of me wants to watch them bury her. It was satisfying knowing that Cindy was underground in a graveyard where no one would ever look. I want that same satisfaction with Ashley too.
Ryat places me in the passenger seat of his SUV, puts my seat belt on, and then closes the door. I lean my head against the cold window while he drives us who knows where.
I don’t even pay attention to where we’re going. His cell rings twice, and he speaks to someone on his Bluetooth, but again, I tune it out.
Does any of it matter anymore—Life?
Matt wants me dead. Especially now. What if he succeeds? I want more time with Ryat. I want us to have kids. Should I get that? Do I deserve that? No. I’m no different than the ones trying to kill me. But everyone else is also doing everything in their power to get what they want. I’m going to do the same.
“You either kill or be killed,” Ryat had said to me once. I didn’t understand how true that was, but I do now. It’s just a game, and who knows who will still be alive once it ends.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
RYAT
I PARK IN the back packed parking lot of Blackout and get out. She hasn’t said anything to me, and honestly, it’s got me worried. I grab the bag out of the back and throw it over my shoulder before going to her door and picking her up. I shut the passenger door, and the back door slams open to the club as I walk across the parking lot. Ty holds it open for me and looks down at her. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah,” I lie, trying to convince myself more than him. I keep telling myself it’s just been a long night. Between our fight, a fake divorce, sex in my bunker, and two murders—she just needs some rest.
The club is in full swing, but the sound of “Honesty” by Halsey blaring doesn’t even seem to faze her. I carry her up the stairs and then in the elevator to the fourth floor, down a long hallway where Ty unlocks a door for me. “Here you go.” He shoves a key in my back pocket since my hands are currently full.
“Thanks, man.”
“Anytime. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to.” He closes it behind me, leaving us alone, and I take us to the back master suite, and straight into the bathroom. I need a shower. I’m covered in not only blood but also dirt from digging a grave.
Setting her on the black marble countertop, I start undressing her, and she remains silent. Her eyes are glazed over—she’s looking at me but not seeing anything.
“We need a shower,” I tell her, and she slowly nods in agreement. She’s listening, so I haven’t lost her completely yet.
Leaving her on the countertop, I walk into the Roman shower and turn on the water. After getting undressed, I then pick her up and carry her into the shower. I stand her on her feet but use my body to hold her up against the white subway tile wall, letting the hot water wash over us, washing away another night of dead bodies.
She blinks, her eyes focusing on mine. “There’s my girl.” I breathe out in relief, running my hand over her wet hair and giving her a smile.
“Do you believe in heaven and hell?” her soft voice asks as I watch her blue eyes fill with tears. “I’ve never really thought about it …” She licks her lips. “But there has to be something better than this, right? So much hate. So much deceit. How does anyone know what’s real or fake?”
“No,” I answer her question honestly. “I don’t believe in life after death.” Her eyes search mine, and for once, I hate how vulnerable she looks—almost broken. I want to make her whole. That’s my job as her husband. She belongs to me, and Matt is still controlling her emotions—making her question everything. “The Lords have shown me that darkness exists. That you don’t have to die in order to burn. And then you came along …” I place both of my hands on her wet face, and she blinks, allowing the first tear to run down her cheek. “I can see you, touch you, and kiss you.” I wipe it away with my thumb. “I can love you.” My eyes drop to her plump lips, and her bottom one trembles. “You, Blakely Rae Archer, are my heaven.” Letting go of her face, I pick up her left hand and bring her knuckles to my lips, kissing her wedding ring. “I made a vow to protect you, Blake, and I’ll show anyone who tries to hurt you my version of hell.”