“I almost died. But once I woke, my stay was long. When you have nothing to do but eat Jell-O and sit in a hospital bed, it gives you perspective. I did a lot of soul searching in the days that followed. Then, once I was a bit better, I was moved into a shared room. My roommate had kids and a family, and when they came to visit, it was like a light went off, and I knew. I was given a second lease on life, and this time, I couldn’t screw it up. I had to come find you. I had to prove myself to you and earn your forgiveness. I didn’t want an empty life anymore. I wanted my kids—a family. I wanted to do things right this time.”
Mel’s heart pounded in her chest as she stared over at him, unsure of what to say. Craig may have had an epiphany, but she hadn’t. His explanation might’ve made sense, but it did little to warm her heart toward him. What if he never got in that accident? Would he ever have come back? Did it even matter?
“I don’t even know how to begin forgiving you,” she said because there was no point in holding back, and despite her reluctance to open her life up to him, her gut told her he was telling the truth. And the truth was a start.
“Mel Bell. . .” Craig sighed, and the way he said her name, turned her stomach to knots. “I don’t expect you to forgive me with the snap of a finger. I know I need to earn your trust first and prove myself to you. I’m ready to do that, no matter how long it takes.”
“It could take years.” He may be sincere, but was he truly in this for the long haul? Craig had always been a sweet talker, and Mel was sure four years hadn’t changed his ability to say exactly what she wanted to hear.
“Even if it takes years, I’m in this. Mel, I’ve missed you. So much. I don’t expect miracles, but please, give me a chance to show you I can finally be the man and the father you need me to be. What do you say?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
MEL
Mel’s stomach twisted the entire ride home, unsure of whether she did the right thing by telling Craig he could come to the PopNewz party. Ever since he showed up last night, she’d been unsure of everything. But he’d requested to meet the kids, and something felt wrong about inviting him to her apartment—the home she’d built for them. It was too informal, too intimate, and the thought made her squirm. The party seemed like a compromise. It was public and formal, so there would be no awkwardness of the two of them alone, nor would it feel like she was moving too fast—allowing him into their lives too soon. She wasn’t ready for that. She only hoped Blake saw it the same way.
She gnawed on the inside of her cheek as she entered her apartment building. She was doing this for her children, she reminded herself, even though it felt all wrong.
She unlocked her door and hurried inside. Laughter filled her ears—the most beautiful sound in the world—and her gaze swung instinctively to the source of it. There, in her tiny living room, stood Blake in a checked apron—ten sizes
too small because it was meant for Kinsley—and a white chef’s hat, serving up platters of plastic food to Peter and Brady, while Kinsley assisted with drinks.
Her heart melted like it always did at the sight of them. This is what a real father looks like, a little voice inside her said, but she shoved it away. Just because Blake was amazing with them didn’t mean Craig didn’t deserve a chance too.
“Ah, the madam of the house is home,” Blake said in a really bad imitation of a French accent. “Just in time for the main course.” Just then, he moved her to the couch and plopped a plate of plastic food in front of her. Mel smiled, but she was too tense after her afternoon with Craig for it to feel natural. And her discomfort must’ve showed because a moment later, Blake was giving the kids a task and whisking Mel away to the bedroom to talk.
Once inside, he closed the door partway, then turned to her, brown eyes blazing with worry as he removed the chef’s hat and apron. “Something’s wrong,” he said. No pretense, no beating around the bush, just straightforward Blake. “What is it?”
Mel sighed and laced her fingers behind her neck. The PopNewz party had already felt like an obligation, but at least with Blake there, she was looking forward to it. But now . . .
“You should know I told Craig he could come to the PopNewz thing tonight.” She bit her lip, glancing at him warily, waiting for his reaction, and when he visibly deflated, her stomach sunk.
He blinked his eyes closed, then opened them. “I’m sorry, but why?”
“He wanted to meet the kids, which was going to eventually happen, but I felt funny about him coming here. I wanted it to be somewhere public, with other people, where it wouldn’t feel so, I don’t know. Real? Pressured? Intimate?”
Blake stiffened at the last word. “Okay. I get that, but you and I were supposed to go together. Like, really together,” he said, motioning between them. “Or has that changed?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Then why invite him there, of all places, tonight? You could’ve met him for coffee tomorrow, at the park again, or a million other public places with plenty of people. Instead you invited him on what was supposed to be our date?”
“I know it sounds stupid, and now that you’re saying that, I can see why you’re a little disappointed, but—”
Blake scoffed.
“—in the moment, it was the first thing that popped into my head.”
Blake nodded like he understood, and he smiled, but not the kind of smile that reached his eyes and lit them up. It was the kind that made his shoulders drop and his forehead crease.
He reached out and grasped her hands, staring down at them. “Are you sure it wasn’t the first thing that came to mind because now that he’s back, you’re having second thoughts about us?”
“What? No.” Mel urged him to look at her, but he just kept staring at their linked hands.
“Are you sure? Because when I asked you if you still loved him, you didn’t have an answer for me.” He finally glanced up at her, and the sorrow in his eyes nearly crushed her. “And now he’s back, and you’re wondering if maybe you shouldn’t give him another chance.”
“No.” Mel shook her head, racking her brain for something else to say, something to convince him, but the truth was, she’d been plagued with uncertainty since the moment Craig showed up outside her door. Nothing seemed safe at the moment. Nothing felt right.