I nodded, letting go of Ezekiel’s arm. I’d forgotten I was holding it, keeping him from pulling a gun on my father.
My father.
I’d thought of him that way, but seeing him in front of me, hearing him call me his son...
It was a lot. It was all just a lot.
“They’re protecting me,” I told him.
“Good. That’s good.” His eyes softened again, and he raised that chin up. “But I know you. I wanted you to know that.”
“Yeah,” I managed. “Listen—”
He shook his head. “Nope. You don’t got to say what you’re going to say.” He held a hand up. “I know what you’re going to say. What you do, what your family does, it’s dangerous. Am I right? That’s the only reason why I can think my son would seek me out, be across the street from my home, but not plan to talk to me. Because it’s dangerous to know you? Is that what you were going to say?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“I don’t care—not about that. I’m a Black man in this society. There are things I’m scared about, but knowing my son? That’s not it. That’ll never be it. I love you. I want you. You hearing me on that?”
I moved my head up and down again.
I couldn’t speak.
My chest was full.
My stomach was full.
My head was full.
I had no idea what to do.
“I really want you to come in and meet your sister. Meet your cousins. Meet my wife. She’s a good woman. I want you to meet your aunt and your uncles. And be prepared, some of your uncles might scare you, but they’ll love you. They don’t know about you, just my wife and your sister, but they will all welcome you. You’re family. My son. I’m proud to finally meet you.” His face was wet with tears now. “If you don’t want to walk to the house, come inside, and meet people who already love you, that’s fine. But know this, we do love you. We do want you. You are always welcome. Always.”
A door opened in the distance.
“Dad?”
I stepped back, knowing who that could be.
Gabriel rolled his shoulders back. He shot me a look. “Right.”
He went up the driveway. He said something, making it sound like a joke. I didn’t know. I heard her laugh, heard the relief, and then he was back in his car and parking it in a better spot.
I stepped back, feeling like the world had just exploded.
My sister was at the door, waiting for her dad.
Gabriel parked, got out, locked his car, and went to her. He held the door as she went inside, and looked one last time at me.
He stood there a moment, staring at me.
I stood there, staring back.
“Dad?” Even from outside, I heard her call for him.
Still he stood there, staring at me.
He wasn’t going to go back inside, not until I moved.
I had to make the decision. He was waiting on me.
Goddamn.
Tears fell down my face. I knew it. I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t want to stop them.
I’d grown up with a man I knew was never my father. I grew up feeling different from my family—a part of them, but apart from them. Now my father was waiting for me, letting me decide. I blinked so many times, trying to stop the tears.
There was no way to prepare for this.
I hadn’t told him I was a doctor.
I wanted to tell him I was a doctor.
“Go, man.” Ezekiel nodded toward the house.
“Go.”
I started, but then stopped.
My sister came back to the door. She stepped in front of him, looking where he was looking. She frowned, paused, and then recognition hit her. Her eyes bulged, and her mouth dropped open. She gasped, a slight scream. She pressed her hand to her mouth, but it was done. It was over.
I started moving toward them as she ran down the stairs to me.
Epilogue
CARSON
I’d be lying if I told you everything was happily ever after. It wasn’t. I went to counseling and opened up about what happened. The whole almost-being-killed thing had given me some trauma.
I was dealing now.
Eventually things got better.
I could sleep. The nightmares lessened, and when they did come, Jonah was there. That helped tremendously.
There was a lot of running. I excelled at the half marathon—but nothing longer than that. No thank you. I wasn’t nuts. I was good. Good to go!
Also, Jonah and I worked hard at our relationship.
It wasn’t easy to come together, but we loved each other.
He was getting to know himself more fully, meeting a whole different part of his family. Eventually his other family met that family, and I was there.
I was at Jonah’s side the entire way, like he had been for me.
I also laid everything out for my parents and sister. I told my family about Jonah and his family’s business. That wasn’t smooth sailing. My sister was happy that I was happy, but she was understandably hesitant about the mafia world.