I check my cell every hour.
I don’t know why, but I do.
Will he message me? A part of me knows he won’t. He honors his word, and he said I could go. So why do I feel a pang of disappointment every time I check that phone?
Bianca calls me, though.
She called me the second day.
And the third.
To make sure I’m doing okay.
A week goes by fast.
Then two.
Followed by three.
By the fourth, Bianca is arriving, and I’m going to be glad to see her.
I speak to my parents at least once a week, but they would never travel overseas to visit me, which is fine, but I’m thankful for Bianca. Somehow along the way, she has become a second mother to me, and I appreciate her more than she knows.
As soon as she walks through the door, her arms come around my body and cuddle me tight. Then, she heads straight for Wren, lifting her and smothering her in kisses.
“Four weeks has been way too long,” she says into Wren’s cheek and gives her more kisses. “Do you think you’re ready to come back?”
Oh wow! She gets straight to it.
I’ve been having a great time. We have done so much and eaten some extraordinary food. We visited Australia Zoo, and Wren fell in love with the crocodiles. We’ve been to the beach and played in the parks. And basically, we have been doing whatever we wanted. It’s been nice to live an easy life and not have to worry about money. I’ve worried about money for so long that it’s a welcomed change. I glance at the shoes that sit on my floor—the first pair of red-bottomed shoes Keir ever gave me—and smile softly.
He messaged me for the first time last week.
It was simple, just asking how Wren and I were doing.
I messaged back, even if it took me hours to respond.
He is her father, after all.
And I’ve missed him.
I’ve missed the way he looks at me.
Dillan never looked at me the way Keir does. When Keir’s eyes fall on me, I know all he is thinking about is me. He doesn’t just see me, he sees who I am. That’s the difference.
“I think so.”
She swings Wren around. “Sounds great. But first, this week we are going to do so much. I want to shop. I want to eat. And I want to play. What do you say, Wren? You ready to have some fun with grandma before you go back home to see Daddy?” Wren giggles at her, and I walk away as my cell beeps.
It’s him.
Lately, it’s always him.
He has never called, just texting for now.
* * *
Keir: I miss you.
* * *
It’s three simple words, and it’s the most he has said about me in a long time. Usually, it’s him asking about Wren or how our day went. His replies are short and sweet. But my heart rate picks up as I reread his words.
I miss him too.
And I’ve been thinking about his life a lot.
It’s crazy—most normal people would run away as fast as they could, not wanting anything to do with it. And I thought that too. But since being here, I’ve missed it. Which is so strange since I was so eager to get away from it all. The problem is, his life is dangerous and will always be dangerous because of who he is. But I knew that before I slept with him, so that was my choice when I spread my legs for him.
The real catch now is…
… is he worth it?
I know he can never stop being who he is.
He is a god among men. And don’t get me wrong, it’s appealing to have a man of his power want you, and only you. And the fact that he never slept with Paige made me feel somewhat better about all things Keir.
But that last day with his father was too much, I knew I was at breaking point. If I didn’t go then, I was afraid of what I might have done. Who I would have become. That was not my life. I didn’t live a life where I witnessed people being shot or killed. Yes, I saw my husband shot and killed, and that fucked me up and hurt, but it wasn’t just one person that last night.
It was a lot.
A lot to take in.
For any normal person.
I rub my hand down my arm as I look at my cell. His message is still lit up like a beacon as it sits in front of me waiting for a response. I walk away without answering and go out for the day with Bianca.
But all day my head thinks of those three small words. I miss you.
The Next Day…
* * *
Keir: It’s the eyes for me. Your doe eyes that lock onto my soul and want to consume me night and day. They haunt my dreams.