No, she told herself fiercely. It’s just his nature. His body promises what his soul cannot deliver.
And yet…
They had a child together. Could somehow, by some miracle, Louisa be the one to reach Rafael’s heart, to make him whole, to heal his soul so they could be the real, loving family she longed for them to be?
She heard Noah cry. Quietly, so she wouldn’t wake her husband, she crept out of his arms and went down the hall. Pulling on her clothes, she padded softly across the apartment to feed the baby and rock him back to sleep.
She returned to the living room with her heart in her throat, full of dreams and plans and hopes to help Rafael be the man she needed. The man she loved. The man she was convinced he was born to be. She could hardly wait to sleep in his arms…
She stopped abruptly when she saw the sofa was empty.
He came up behind her. She whirled around to discover him wearing a white terry cloth robe, clearly just come from the shower.
“That was enjoyable,” he said coolly, drying his wet hair with a towel. “I think I may like having a wife.”
She tilted her head, her heart pounding with hope. “You think so?” she whispered.
His lips curved. “Of course. You’re in my bed. At my service. And apparently wishing to cook and clean for me whenever you’re not satisfying me in bed. I’m saving a great deal of money, since I don’t even have to pay you. You are—” he reached out to stroke her cheek “—every man’s dream wife.”
She swallowed, trembling as she looked up into his cold gray eyes. “You are trying to hurt me. Why?”
“I said I will enjoy our marriage. And you—will not.” Pulling his hand away, he leaned forward until his handsome face was inches from her own. “Nothing has changed,” he whispered. His eyes were a mesmerizing gray. “You will regret the day you stole my son away from me.”
Pain stabbed through her. Was that all their night together had been for him? She’d thought—dreamed—it could be some kind of new start for them, the sweet promise of forgiveness and a new life, raising their son together.
He’d fooled her yet again. His tenderness, his sensuality, had been the weapons he’d used to punish her!
She had the sudden image of the pain he could inflict on her, this man she loved, this man she’d once known so well.
I can’t offer you marriage. But for as long as we’re together, I promise I will be faithful to you.
She sucked in her breath. He’d cared for her. He still did. It was only his anger that was making him try to hurt her!
But she wouldn’t let him. She wouldn’t let him destroy their chance of being a family. Somehow, in spite of everything, she would break through his anger and make him forgive her!
It was their only hope…
She looked up at him. She could tell he was waiting for her to get upset, to yell, to cry.
Instead she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he ground out. “For stealing my son? You think an apology is enough?”
She nodded. “I thought I had no choice,” she said simply. “If I’d told you I was pregnant in Istanbul, you would have insisted I was a gold digger—and punished me. Instead I tried to raise our son on my own, without any help from you. So you accuse me of being vindictive—and you want to punish me.” She lifted her eyes to meet his. “Have you ever considered that you are an impossible man to please? Have you ever considered,” she said quietly, “that the problem might be you?”
He stared at her.
“Are you joking?” he growled.
She folded her arms over the paper-thin fabric of her tank top, wishing she had more clothes than her little shirt and shorts, more armor to protect her as she faced him. If only, she thought, she had one of her old gray woolen suits, her old thick black-framed glasses!
But all she had was herself. That would have to be enough.
She took a deep breath. “I still love you, Rafael,” she whispered, then gave him a tremulous smile. “There. I said it. In spite of your faults, in spite of your weakness, I love you.”
“My weakness?” he exploded.
She shivered at the danger in his dark eyes. But she still forced herself to be brave enough to speak the truth in her heart.