They just always believed they’d take the hard paths before any of us.
Now I’m leap-frogging over them.
I find my voice and answer, “I’ll cross that road with Akara and Banks when it comes.”
Moffy nods repeatedly. “You should think about kids, Sul. You should be thinking about all this shit before it’s too late. The media—”
“I don’t care about the fucking media,” I groan.
“They’ll eat you alive,” Moffy professes, his eyes pleading with me to understand. “They will take everything you love and destroy it, Sulli. They might even pit Banks and Akara against each other—and then what? That leaves you with a bucket load of heartbreak. Shattered. The worst experience of your goddamn life. Headlines you can never run away from. Pain you can never take back.”
Hot tears threaten to rise. “I love them…and I guess right now, that has to be enough.” I exhale a giant breath. “And do I even need your approval?”
“No, but—” Moffy starts.
I cut him off at the but. “I’m an adult.” My chest tightens with each word. Does every person in my life still see me as this little girl? “I know you both probably look at me like your little cousin, but I’m more than that.”
He nods. “Sulli, I want to be happy for you, goddamn, I do.”
“But,” I say, waiting for that word to drop again.
“But I made a promise to your dad since you were little,” he says, “I promised to always protect you, and if I don’t warn you how this is going to go, then I’m failing at that.” He licks his cracked lips. “We’re American royalty. It doesn’t matter how much you love them, the world is going to tear you apart. Once you become media fodder, it’s too late. I can’t protect you anymore. Your dad can’t protect you. And you shouldn’t have to go through it in the first place.”
I’m a Meadows.
I’m supposed to stand on the edge of bridges. On the edge of cliffs. I’m supposed to take the leap of faith into the great, terrifying unknown. And I’m not supposed to do it alone.
But I have Banks.
I have Akara.
Stop running away.
“I want to be fearless with my life,” I say in a single breath, “like my parents were with theirs.”
Moffy and Jane nearly smile, but I can see they’re afraid for me.
Whatever waits at the end, even if it’s anguish and torment, I’ll have to survive. I inhale strongly, “And if this all goes fucking terribly wrong, I won’t need you or my dad to save me this time, Moffy.” I hold his gaze, our childhood racing through us. “This time, I’ll save myself.”
I walk out of the library with those parting words.
9
BANKS MORETTI
As soon as Sulli gets swept away by her cousins, Cinderella himself sweeps me off to the game room. Lights to the pinball machine glow, and two calico cats circle around Thatcher’s feet.
People talk about love, but what most don’t understand is loving someone for all your life. From the moment I breathed air to the moment I die, I’ll love my brother.
Hell, before I even knew what love was, I loved him.
I followed him to war. I followed him to security. But for the first time in my life, I’m taking a different path than him. I’m voyaging into an unconventional relationship, and I can see on his face that he’s worried for me.
“I expected as much,” I tell him.
He frowns harder. “I haven’t said anything yet.”
I wave at his face. “It’s all over your mug, Thatcher Alessio Moretti.”
He lets out a gruff noise. “Are you just taking my facial expressions as gospel now or are we going to talk about this?”
I lean up against the pool table. “We can talk about it, but I’m thinking you’re going to be saying the same shit you said a month ago when you knew I kissed her.”
He shakes his head.
Shock jolts me, and I grip the edge of the pool table. “Really? You have a different opinion then?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I think you’re out of your damn mind.”
I roll my eyes and release the tension in my hands. “Same opinion.”
“No, this one is stronger,” he growls. “I get you want to ride this wave into a hurricane, but I’m telling you that you’re not the only one in line to get hurt now. Think about Sulli. Think about Akara.”
I raise my brows. “You seriously want me to believe that you care more about their potential broken feelings than mine?” My brother would take a thousand swords for me. Christ, he’d become the sword. And sure, he’s the kind of guy that runs into a burning building for a guy like Tony. But when it comes down to it, I’m not sure he’d truly hurt for anyone else but me and Jane.
He stares me cold in the eyes. “I’d tell you anything for you to pull your head out of your ass.” His South Philly lilt comes out.