Little fucking bastard.
I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. Once this weekend passes and I declaw my kitten again, I don’t know where we go from there. She won’t go down to dinner because she doesn’t want to see him. I’ve been dealing with it, but once she’s officially mine, I want her beside me at dinner every night. She won’t be comfortable if he’s there. I would let him move out, but I also need to be able to keep an eye on him to make sure no plans for vengeance spring up. I could move him into one of my properties and just install cameras to keep an eye on him, but once I have Mia waiting for me in bed at the end of every day, I’m not going to be willing to waste time watching him.
I feel better after the shower. My head is clearer, less fucked up. Emotions always fuck people up. I’m lucky in that I don’t have a surplus of the damned things, but Mia tapped right into them tonight. I got caught up in her feelings. Logically, I know that despite catching everything on fire tonight, I can smother the flames and rebuild a couple days from now. Everything will be fine.
I return to the bedroom and Adrian leaves without a word. Mia hasn’t moved. I crawl into bed behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.
“Don’t touch me.” Her tone is wooden, completely devoid of any feeling, but that’s more alarming than anger.
I consider ignoring her request, tugging her body against mine and forcing her to cuddle with me anyway. As hard as I’ve been on her tonight, maybe she needs a break, though. I also want to see if she ends up in my arms, despite legitimately hating me right now.
So, loathe as I am to go to sleep without touching her, I let go of her and roll back into my spot, keeping my hands to myself.
One more day.
—
“Well, you can trust me… I’m not powerful or connected and I couldn’t protect you from a bullet or a throwing star, but if you ever feel lonely, you can count on me…”
I can’t sleep.
The rain pounds against my bedroom window, thunder rolling in the distance. I wonder if Mia likes thunderstorms. She’s lying right here beside me, but I can’t ask her. Thankfully she’s asleep. She kept her back to me most of the night so I couldn’t tell if she was awake or not.
Then, as she has done each night that she wasn’t already there voluntarily, she rolled over and snuggled up against me. Maybe she hates me tonight, but whatever draws her to me hasn’t completely disintegrated.
At least in her sleep, she’s at peace. I robbed her of that earlier tonight, but at least I haven’t bled into her dreams.
I trail a finger lightly along Mia’s arm, her words washing over me. It wasn’t long ago she spoke those words. I understand they don’t hold now that I’ve done this, but I knew she meant them when she said them. It was a naïve promise, offered on a whim—I know that, so I don’t know why the words got stuck in my head. Mia convinced herself I was in some kind of tragic, lonely pain and she wanted to ease it.
Adrian’s probably right. This may be one of the more fucked up things I’ve done in my time, and that’s saying something. I took an innocent, loving person who offered acceptance to a man whose gun once rested against her forehead because she thought she sensed his pain, and I did this to her. She offered kindness and I countered with destruction.
I am an asshole.
But that’s how it goes. Someone would’ve taught her someday. Probably a series of someones, slowly chipping away at that loving shell of hers, gradually eroding her sweetness. At least I did it in grand fashion. At least I took her down in one fell swoop.
Killing a part of someone with one bold strike is kinder than dragging their heart across sand paper over time until there’s nothing left. Though, if I’m being honest with myself, I’ll probably do that to her, too.
As if she can hear my thoughts, Mia shifts in her sleep, making a cute little disgruntled noise as she settles her arm around my waist and nuzzles her face into my chest. My cock stirs, but I ignore it. I’m definitely not going to wake her up now. She does this every night, but when she wakes up, the snuggling will obviously stop. I don’t know why her sleeping self hasn’t received the memo tonight, but I’m glad. She only has to go to bed angry at me one more night, then it will be Monday.
[Sunday]
Mia is not happy when she wakes up in my arms.