“Yes, he thinks it’s very cool,” I say, dryly.
She sets her folder aside and scoots closer to me, apparently more interested in hearing my stories than doing her homework. I still have work to do, but I suppose I can take a break. I save what I’m working on and close the laptop, setting it aside. Then I join Mia in relaxing, snaking an arm beneath her and pulling her into my arms as she asks, “Why doesn’t he like you now? If you guys were that close all your lives, what happened to change it?”
“We weren’t close all our lives, we were close in childhood.” Inseparable, actually. “Unfortunately, I’m the son of a monster, and that monster ruined Adrian’s life. I think afterward, Adrian just couldn’t separate us. Even though I had no part in it, I was a constant reminder of what he’d lost. He knew I was on the same path so he never let our friendship return to what it was before. Maybe he couldn’t. I don’t know.”
“But he protects you now,” she points out. “He came back into your life for some reason.”
Because I force him to be here. I’ve shared plenty already, so I don’t offer that. “I’m good at finding what motivates people,” I say, instead.
“That’s a valuable talent.”
“Yes, it sure is.”
“I still think he must have some affection for you,” she insists.
“I’m not surprised you think that,” I remark, smiling faintly.
“I never had any friendships that stood the test of time like that,” she tells me. “We always moved around a lot and at the very least, I had to change school districts every couple of years. My mom always went where the boyfriends were, and none of the boyfriends ever lasted.”
I see an opportunity to revisit a topic I’m curious about, so I ask, “Did you get along with all of them?”
“Mostly. There were a couple I didn’t like, one that didn’t like me, but most were okay. One of them had a dog I liked much more than the boyfriend.”
I smile faintly at that. “Never had a dog of your own?”
“No,” she answers, easily. “It was always an extra expense we couldn’t afford. Two of my mom’s boyfriends had dogs, though, so I had them briefly when we lived with them. The first one bit me, so I didn’t like him at all. I liked the second one, but he wasn’t properly potty trained and it left messes all over the house. Strangely enough, I never really craved an animal companion after that.” Smiling faintly, she looks up at me. “What about you?”
“It doesn’t sound like your mom was especially careful with you.”
“Well, she didn’t know the dog would bite me.”
“Why did it bite you?”
“Because it was a jerk.” She turns her head, looking upward and pointing with her index finger to a tiny scar I never noticed over her eye. “The doctor said another quarter of inch down and I may have lost the ability to see out of this eye.”
I shake my head, inspecting the tiny scar. I hate that it’s there. I hate that I didn’t know her then, that I couldn’t protect her.
Though I suppose that would have been excessively creepy.
“How old were you?” I ask, to be sure.
“Five.”
Yep, creepy.
Oh well, still would’ve shot the damn dog.
Probably her mom and the boyfriend, too. I don’t like any of the people involved in this scenario. Then I could’ve brought her back here where she’d be safe. Maria could’ve raised her along with Cherie. She could’ve been a maid until I got around to snatching her up. Then she would’ve always been around, even before I was ready for her.
“You didn’t answer me,” she points out, drawing my thoughts away from the ludicrous and back to her. “Did you have any animals growing up?”
“How are you at cleaning?”
Shooting me a well-deserved odd look, she asks, “Huh?”
Eh, she was poor, I’m sure she can clean. Wouldn’t have mattered if she did a shoddy job, I guess. I want her around for the brightness she adds to life, not her cleaning capabilities.
I like my version of her life much better. I don’t know for sure if Adrian found signs of prior abuse, but I don’t feel like she was well taken care of either way and it bothers me. I want to retroactively install her in the safe bubble of my house. She could’ve been my Elise. Adrian would’ve liked me more, too, since my attention would’ve been elsewhere and Elise probably would’ve recovered from her interest in me a long time ago. Hell, she and Mia would probably be friends. If they were friends, that would force Adrian to be my friend.
Why does it feel so much better to think of her being in my life sooner, even if I wouldn’t have been with her? She still would have been too young, it’s not like I would have had her in my bed any sooner, but there’s something addictive about her mere presence. I enjoy having her naked in my arms, obviously, but even without the sex, I would want her around. Even if I only saw her at dinner every night when she brought me my salad, I would have been happier.