“What do the docs say about that?”
“It’s not physical, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to, but it’s all just random squiggles and shapes.”
“Got a plan?”
So far the plan had been to hide from it, and hope it resolved itself like his issue with language. “Not a good one.”
Ted stuck out a hand. “Look after yourself, son. I’m looking forward to making lots of money with you, but you’re going to need to be on your best behaviour. You better see you’re up to it.”
When Ted was gone and this bitch of a day was almost done, Will felt wrung out like a limp dishrag. He had to call Aileen and report in, but he didn’t have the energy to pick up his phone and relive the interview again. He should talk to Pete again too. He’d need to step in on the deal execution.
He went to the window and looked out over the city. He’d made a bunch of bad decisions, starting with denying Darcy, and checking out of hospital early and topping it off with getting on the jet to Sydney, thinking he could sweet-talk Ted into a more efficient deal structure, without telling Pete.
The only thing saving that decision from being the disaster it might’ve been was the fact Ted Barstow was a risk taker and had taken a shine to him. Will’s legendary luck might not have been beaten out of him, but it was time to quit leaning so heavily on it.
And if the way he’d folded in half because a few journalists did their jobs by asking a bunch of questions was any indication of his mental state, it was a sign his first impression was right—he wasn’t ready for the world.
Pete would agree. He’d probably aged Pete ten years in the last day, on top of all the stress he’d given him over the last year. That was a bitter regret.
And Darcy. It was hard to think about Darcy. He’d looked out over the sea of faces, hearing his name echo off plate glass walls and parked cars and felt anxiety clump in his stomach. He’d been aware of the other men retreating back inside the hotel, but he’d been lead footed, unable to move. Then he’d seen her face, her gorgeous face, among the rabble; concern and fear for him in her eyes, and felt himself unravelling as image after image of what happened in Quingpu shuttered his sight, until he was back there smelling smoke and terror, trading punches for hope, pain for slim chances and oblivion for her freedom.
He watched the city closing for the night, getting ready for bed, and knew he needed a new plan. One that didn’t involve fooling himself that because he had a better handle on his anger, he could bluff his way to wellness.
When his phone rang he thought it would be Aileen or Bo.
“Will, are you all right?”
Not Aileen, not Bo, not Pete. The one voice he’d not expected. “Darcy, I...”
“I asked if you were all right.”
He closed his eyes and leant his forehead against the cool windowpane. No, he was desperately screwed up by his own arrogance, and he’d made her a victim again. “Yes, I’m okay.”
“Did you remember who I was when you saw me today?”
“I...”
“Try not to lie to me more than is strictly necessary, Will.” Her voice was so clipped, a serrated edge.
“I remembered you before today.”
“When did you remember?”
He straightened up, watched the lights in an office block turn out, imagined them as the lights in her eyes. “I never forgot you, Darcy.” He heard her sharp intake of breath as she registered that.
“So when you insulted me at the hospital you knew who I was.”
He’d walked into her punch, now it was time to walk into her blade. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m the definition of unstable. You witnessed that, along with a good portion of your industry today. You need to be free of me.”
“So you don’t love me?”
He curled his fist, braced it against the window. “I love the idea of you and me, but that’s gone, I’m not the same. When I saw you today I forgot. I...” He’d wanted to push his way through to her and hold her till his heart stopped trying to carve a path out of his body and all his fears were reduced to ash. He pressed his fist into the glass. “I made your life a car crash, Darcy. I’ve developed a talent for it.”
“Did you get memories of Quingpu back today?”