He said nothing for a moment and then he blew his breath out as if he was trying to calm himself. "She wanted me to see him," he said, his voice breaking. "In case he died before we left for Africa." He rubbed his forehead. "She also wanted it to be the last time I made contact with her or him until he was eighteen. She wants me to give the donation and fade into the background. I asked her if I could meet him, talk to him after, but she said no. She told me not to bother making contact with her or him and if I did," he said, his voice really low. "She said she'd get another restraining order."
A shock when through me, the adrenaline making my heart beat faster. "That's horrible, especially since it wasn’t you who made contact in the first place."
"I guess I shouldn't have expected anything more from her." He sat quietly, staring out the window. I wanted to press him, but didn’t, letting him say what he wanted, when he wanted. "When they left for supper, I went back to Liam's room. I know the nurses
and they looked the other way because they know I'm his biological father. I spoke with Liam. Told him I was a doctor and wanted to check in on him. He talked to me for a while about the whole procedure. He's such a strong little boy." He said nothing for a moment as if he was overcome with emotion. "I was leaving when Chris came back for something and saw me with scrubs on. He confronted me, followed me out of the hospital and we had a scuffle outside in the parking lot."
"Oh Drake, I'm so sorry…"
He shook his head. "I was good enough when I might be a potential tissue match for Liam, but once I agreed to donate, I'm back to being the evil ex-husband with perverted proclivities."
"Hardly perverted. You're mild compared to the Doms whose profiles I read on FetLife."
He rubbed his forehead. "You know that and I know that, but to Maureen, I'm the Devil's spawn. I was a jerk, Kate, not really knowing what I was doing, clumsy, demanding, but I wasn't nearly as kinked out as many Doms are. And I would never say anything to Liam about who and what I am to him. I just wanted to speak to him, hear his voice…"
I reached out and clasped his hand in mine, squeezing it.
"I never thought she'd be so nasty to me, despite the divorce. I was generous with her. I didn’t fight her demands when we split. I was too devastated. She made me feel like a perverted monster. How she must hate me…"
I felt so bad for him. "Your split with Maureen sounds like my split with Kurt, except it must have hurt much more since you two were actually married. Kurt and I were only together for a few months."
"It was hard." He turned back to me, his eyes searching my face. "To be married for five years, to get that close, to become so used to having someone there all the time, and to have it go sour and fall apart." He shook his head. "I was so blind back then. So focused on my career, on my place in the world, I failed to work on my marriage. She had every right to fall out of love with me. Even hate me. It's a mistake I'll never make again."
"What mistake?" I asked, curious about his thoughts on why his marriage failed. "Not pay attention to your relationship?"
He nodded. "I won't neglect you, Kate. If you ever feel the least bit neglected, let me know, for it won't be intentional. I want you to feel completely loved and cared for, the focus of my attention when I'm with you."
I smiled and leaned over to kiss him, and he met me half way, our lips pressing together, my breath hitching in my chest.
"I want you to feel the same," I said. "I've never lived with a man before, so I don't really know what to expect, but if I ever fail to please you, if I ever neglect you, I want to know."
He smiled finally, for the first time in a while. "Living with a man? Let me give you some advice. Expect a lot of sex. Expect him to fall dead asleep soon afterwards. Expect him to watch you greedily all the time, like you're dessert and he can't wait to get to eat you. Or, at least, that's the way I feel when you're with me."
I smiled, a thrill going through me. "You can eat dessert whenever you want." I crawled onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Mmm, Ms. Bennet," he murmured against the skin on my neck. "I think you might seduce me with that coy look of yours, but I'm not in any shape for anything this morning."
"Of course not," I said. "Let's take it really easy today. I have to go back to the studio and apply the next coat of gesso, but otherwise, we should just stay home and recover."
He shook his head. "I have some work to do and will be busy all day."
"I can't talk you into taking the afternoon off? Even you deserve a vacation…"
"I don't think I can," he said. "Since I'm staying longer, I have to finish up some work for our next shareholder meeting. Then I have to go in and get my first shot. The oncologist wants to do a peripheral blood stem cell harvest. I have to take growth factors that will increase the number of stem cells in my blood."
"The Filgrastim?"
He nodded. "I'll be taking it for four days before they do the harvest."
"I did some reading. You won't be feeling well for a while?"
"Just mild bone pain. Nothing I won't be able to handle. Nothing worse than how you feel the day after a really hard workout at the gym." He smiled softly. "We'll have a nice quiet night together.
I hugged him more closely, eager for the night to finally arrive.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Drake dropped me off at the studio, and this time, he didn’t seem as suspicious of me going there, despite being alone with two or three men he didn’t really know. I was glad – his jealousy made me smile, but I didn’t want him to really feel any concern. I didn’t even think about them other than as fellow artists.