“Maybe I can get a loan from my old man,” he suggests, but the look on his face tells me he would rather eat rusty nails.
“I wouldn’t want you to do that, Ezra. I would never ask you to.”
“I know, but if you drop out the chances of you going back are slim to none.” He drops down on the bed next to me and I rub his shoulders. “What goes through that head of yours…I’ll never know.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but I saw my father yesterday. And before you say anything. I don’t need another lecture. It was good for me.”
Ezra pushes my hands away and turns so that he can see me.
“Did he put you up to this?”
“What? No. I don’t know if I want to be a teacher anymore. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I feel so much pressure all the time. I mean look at you. Did you really want to fall straight into your father’s shoes before twenty-five?”
“Why would you even say something like that, Con? You know I have always wanted to take over the company one day.”
“I know but…wouldn’t you have liked to travel and experience life more before settling into the daily grind. I want to see the world. I want to try different jobs in new cities.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Where is this coming from? I thought you were onboard with my plan.”
Ezra has a five-year marriage plan. A plan that I thought would change…maybe I was fooling myself. I feel sick to my stomach.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore tonight. I have to be up early and I’m exhausted.” He begins unbuttoning his shirt and kicking his pants off. “Suck me off,” he says with cold eyes.
Does he really think I want to give him a blowjob right now?
“Ezra, I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re my girlfriend and someday soon you’ll be my wife. I think giving me head should be at the top of your priorities.” He strokes his cock and grins. “You know what, if you want to quit school that would be okay with me, because once we are married, you’ll be staying home to take care of the kids. Mom has already been looking into a nanny like I had growing up. That way you’ll have help and can go to the gym to keep your figure.”
He can’t be serious. I don’t even know what to say to him right now. I hope it’s the liquor talking.
He grabs my hand and puts it on his hot flesh and leans into my neck and bites me. It isn’t a playful nip. It hurts, and I don’t feel turned on at all. I feel confused.
“Come on, Con, time is wasting. I need you.” He reaches up my shirt and pinches my nipple, twisting it between his fingers.
Pushing his hand away, I tell him, “Stop that. It hurts.”
“When did you become such a prude?” He
scoffs and tells me to never mind. I scoot up the bed and sit and watch as he pulls up a porno on his phone and jerks off in the bed next to me as though I am not even here.
I want to tell him to go fuck himself right now but that is exactly what he is doing.
I stay quiet and go to bed with our future heavy on my heart.
Maybe moving in with him was a mistake.
Maybe we should have taken a break.
Right now, I feel as though everything in my life is spiraling down the rabbit hole.
Screw it. I get out of bed once Ezra’s breathing has evened out, and I am sure he is asleep and unable to stop me. I log into my university email and type an email to my advisor letting her know that I would like to withdraw for the semester. Maybe I will take the money my Nan left for me and travel somewhere far away from here.
Already, I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Chapter 5
Conleigh