When others tell you who you are enough eventually you become that version of yourself even when it feels wrong.
But this isn’t wrong. This is who we are. Two wandering souls connecting in the only way we know how to. Skin to skin. Mouth to mouth. He ravishes my body, taking and taking until I have nothing left but my aching soul. With one final thrust he shudders and quakes, his cock jerking inside me, filling me completely.
Pulling out he rolls off the bed, unbinds my wrists, and brings me with him. In the bathroom, this man handles me with care, wiping away the remnants of his passion that’s running down my thighs. Neither of us speak. We don’t need to. We both know that I’d be happy if tomorrow never comes. After I fall onto the bed and he holds me close. Nothing passes between us except shallow breaths and unspoken promises of what can never be.
I lay with him, stroking my fingers along his skulls and roses that are inked over his chest. My bad man. My lover. My protector. He doesn’t know it, but I do...James—Murder...he’s gonna be my world.
Grabbing my hand, he threads his fingers with mine and kisses my knuckles. “Get some sleep.”
I wish I could but I’m afraid that once I close my eyes this...him...we’ll disappear. He’ll be gone, and all it will have been is a fantasy that felt all too real.
I close my eyes and fall asleep quicker than I wanted to.
Morning comes too soon, returning us to reality. To a world where we can’t exist. But for one night I had everything I ever wanted, and it was all I dreamed it would be and more. I awaken with his heavy body curled around mine. Our legs tangled together. My cheek pressed to his tattooed chest. His heartbeat drumming a soothing melody in my ear. The only sound I want to hear forever.
The ringing of his cell phone interrupts our bliss. James curses under his breath, and I go to move away, but he holds me tighter. It’s unexpected but welcome. Part of me was afraid that we’d wake up and he’d be chock-full of liquid regret.
The ringing continues, sounding like a warning that our minutes together are fleeting.
“Should you get that?”
He grunts and slides away, tagging his phone from his jeans as he goes to the bathroom. I stay where I lay and pray that this isn’t all there is for us. If I lose him, I don’t know if I can survive. I’m not strong enough. I need him to save me from the monsters out there waiting to hurt me, but no one can hurt me more than I hurt myself but him.
Chapter Nine
“Yeah. I’m still out of town.”
“I found what you’ve been searching for.”
“You’ve crated the dog?”
“Yup. Scrappy pup.”
“I’ll be there to start the training as soon as possible.” Ending the call with Slick, I knew he wouldn’t let me down. I glance at Alexa. She’s curled up under the covers staring at me
all wide and starry-eyed. Fuck. Last night shouldn’t have happened, but I’m not sorry. I should be, but I’m not. Best night of my damn life. How fucked up is that. Yeah, I was drunk. It’s no excuse. I knew what I was doing and who I was doing it with. I know what that says about me, only I can’t find it in me to care.
“Get dressed. We need to talk.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Her lips turn down, and I don’t want to hurt her, but we both know that when we leave this room whatever this is and was is all it can ever be. I get my jeans on and dig the other pill that was tucked in with the antibiotics.
Alexa slips from the bed with the sheet wrapped around her. Blonde hair all mussed up, looking like a goddess. Swollen lips and flushed cheeks. I grab her arm as she goes to pass me by. “I don’t regret last night.” She stares up at me with unshed tears glittering in her eyes. “Don’t cry.”
“Let me go.”
“You need to take this.” I shove the pill between her lips and don’t offer an explanation. It’s a morning after pill. I shouldn’t have fucked her, but I did. My stomach churns as she sticks her tongue out to show me she swallowed it down. “Good girl.” I hold her gaze for a minute then let her go. Alexa disappears into the bathroom, and I go out to the truck and grab the envelope Slick gave me. Helping her disappear is the best thing I can do for her. Alexa needs away from West Virginia. Away from me because if she stays, I know I’ll only ruin her.
Back in the motel room, Alexa is sitting at the table. Her bag is on the bed zipped and ready. I drop the envelope on the table and pull out the other chair. “If you could go anywhere in the world and start over where would you go?”
Her shoulder lifts. The left corner of her mouth twitches. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Bullshit. Everyone thinks about it. What’s the first place that comes to your mind?”
“I don’t want to play this game.”
“I don’t play games, Lex. Not with this. Not with you. Best thing I can do for you is make Alexa Neville disappear for good. So, tell me, pretty girl. Where do you want to go? What do you want?”
“You want rid of me.” She stares blankly out the window at the parking lot.