I’m not going to be strung out on narcotics like some of the women are. I’ll gladly bear the pain. Those two dislocated shoulders were about as painful as anything I’ve felt, and I got through them without meds.
“He broke skin in a few places,” Diamond says. “Let me clean you up.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.” She sighs. “You’re not fine, Moonstone.”
I turn to her then. “Who are you, Diamond? Who are you really?”
She sighs again. “I’m no one. The same as you, Moonstone. I’m no one.”
40
Luke
Back at my place, I begin packing.
I got Travis and another server to cover me by telling them I had an emergency. I didn’t bother to tell Lois I was leaving. She has a giant crush on me and would ask a lot of questions. Travis and Marguerite just wanted my tables and their tips. They were too busy to question my motives.
Not the most professional thing I’ve ever done, but what the hell? I’m out of here.
A leopard doesn’t change its spots.
Wisdom from my old man.
I was determined to prove him wrong.
The problem? I can’t prove him wrong as Luke Johnson. No man and every man.
Luke Johnson doesn’t exist.
I have to prove him wrong as myself. Only then will I deserve Katelyn and her love.
And I do love her.
Not the obsessive love I felt for the others, but a more profound love. I want what’s best for her over what’s best for myself.
I’ve never felt that before. I always put my own desires first.
No more.
I may not come out alive, but if I do, I will finally be worthy of Katelyn.
I remove my white shirt and stuff it in the suitcase.
No more hiding. The tattoo screeches at me. Even if I go through with removal, the shadow of it will always exist. Inside me. Part of me.
Some things will never leave my psyche.
I step into the bathroom and regard myself. A stranger I’ve come to know stares back at me. Luke Johnson has dark hair and dark eyes. Luke Johnson always wears long sleeves.
Luke Johnson—
Buzz.
Someone’s downstairs. Who the hell is coming to see me at eight p.m.? I didn’t order food.
Doesn’t matter. I’m out of here as soon as I’m packed up.
Buzz.
This stranger is persistent.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
“All right! I’m coming!” I grab the crumpled white shirt out of my suitcase and shove my arms back into it, not bothering to button it up.
“Yeah? What do you want?” I say harshly into the intercom.
“Luke?”
Damn. Katelyn. I’d recognize her angelic voice anywhere. Just what I don’t need.
Except I’m lying. I do need her. I need her so badly.
I’m just not worthy of her.
“I’m busy,” I say, wincing at my own words.
“I just want to make sure you’re all right.”
“I’m fine.”
“Uh…okay. Can I… Can I come up?”
“Katelyn, that’s not a good—”
“Oh, thank you.” Katelyn’s voice.
The intercom goes dead.
Someone opened the door, and Katelyn is on her way up.
I don’t have to open the door. I can tell her to get lost. But already I know I won’t do that. She’ll be right outside my door in the few minutes it take her to get up here.
God, I ache for her. Ache so badly.
A hesitant knock.
I throw open the door.
She stands, still in her professional clothes, her gorgeous blond hair tumbling over her shoulders, her lips red and parted.
So ready for my tongue to slide between them.
“Hi,” she says hesitantly.
“Come in.”
She steps inside and I close the door.
Her gaze falls to the suitcase on my bed. “What’s this?”
“I’m getting out of town for a few days.”
“Oh? Where are you going?”
“To visit family.” Not a complete lie.
She nods and bites her lower lip. Man, I wish I were her teeth.
“Is there some kind of emergency?” she asks. “You left the restaurant without finishing your shift.”
I clear my throat. “Yeah. An emergency.”
Lies used to come so easily past my lips. Now? I taste bile and acid as I spew them. I don’t want to lie to Katelyn. Not ever. But the fact is that I’ve been lying to her since we met. I’m not who she thinks I am, and I never will be.
“What happened?” she asks. “Is everyone all right?”
“Yeah, fine. Just…my mother needs me.”
“Oh. Sure. I understand. But…”
“But what?”
“Weren’t you going to at least say goodbye?”
I itch to reach out to her, to caress her silky cheek, to trail my finger over those full parted lips.
To grab her. Kiss her senseless. Make love to her all night long.
I was ready before. I begged her to leave the restaurant with me. And now? She’s here. Ready for the taking.
I walk toward her, the two sides of my shirt hanging and baring my chest to her. She’s never seen my chest. I wore a Henley when we made love.
Perhaps it’s time. I’m leaving anyway.
Perhaps she should see who I really am. No more hiding. As soon as I leave this apartment for the last time, I’ll no longer be Luke Johnson.