“I don’t know much about addiction,” she says. “What do you know about drugs?”
I go rigid. Why is she asking me about drugs? Surely she can’t know about my past.
Can she?
Before I can think of how to reply, she continues.
“This cousin I’m seeing today, Tony, he’s in because of drug charges. Selling and possession.”
“Oh.” Relief sweeps through me like a desert breeze. “What kind of drugs?”
“I don’t know. My aunt just said it was selling and possession of a controlled substance.”
“Probably narcotics, then,” I say a little too quickly.
“Narcotics?”
“Yeah. Oxycodone, Fentanyl, the like.”
She cocks her head. “So you do know a thing or two about drugs.”
“I’ve never taken them.” No lie there. My drug was always alcohol, no matter what else I had access to.
And I had access to a lot.
“I was hoping it was something harmless, like pot.”
“How long has he been inside?”
“Almost ten years.”
“Then it wouldn’t be pot. Hardly anyone gets incarcerated for pot anymore. It’s legal in a lot of states, though still illegal at the federal level.”
Damn. I should shut up. I wait. I wait for the inevitable question. How do you know so much about drugs, Luke?
But the question doesn’t come.
“He was supposed to get out on parole last year,” she continues, “but apparently he got into a fight or something and his hearing was canceled.”
“Why do you want to see him?” I ask. “Are you close?”
She drops her gaze to the napkin in her lap.
“Katelyn?”
“We were once. When we were kids. But something happened to him.”
I nod. I get it.
I’ve been there.
“What do you want to talk to him about?” I ask.
“I just want to…you know. To say hi.”
Her gaze is still fixed on her lap.
Maybe she’s telling the truth. Except if it is the truth, it’s far from the whole truth. I hesitate to push her further, but my curiosity gets the better of me. I’m curious about all things Katelyn, including her jailbird cousin.
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“About ten years ago.”
“I see.” Though I don’t see. I don’t see at all.
“We weren’t on the best of terms the last time we saw each other,” she offers.
I resist the urge to lift my eyebrows. “Oh?”
She inhales sharply. “No. He… He did something to me. I need to ask him why he did it. What he had to gain. Was it worth it?”
I reach across the table and lay my hand over hers. “What, Katelyn? What did he do?”
25
Katelyn
I awaken in a dark room. I can’t see. What happened? Am I blind? My heart races, and my fingers curl into fists.
Then my eyes adjust, and I exhale a sigh of heavy relief.
I’m not blind.
I can see. But everything’s dark. I’m on a bed. A twin bed with sheets and a dark comforter. Walls. Walls and a door. I get up, and—
“Oh!” My knees crumple beneath me, and I end up on the floor. It’s cold.
Cold on my bare skin.
My clothes? Where are my clothes?
I reach for the bed and pull myself back onto it, sitting, my heart pounding like a jackhammer. I look around some more. A sink. A sink and a toilet. And…
The door.
I breathe in. Breathe out. I tell my legs to work, and…
I rise again.
This time I go slowly, still holding onto the side of the bed. Good.
I take a step. My head feels…strange. Kind of like it’s in a fish bowl. I can almost see orange flecks of the goldfish swimming around. I know who I am, but I don’t know where I am or how I got here.
Think, Katelyn, think.
I was home. Getting ready to fly to Newark to see Aunt Agnes and Uncle Bruno for the first time since…
No.
Wait.
I got there. I was in Brooklyn, in the brownstone.
Eating dinner with Aunt Agnes and Uncle Bruno. Uncle Bruno didn’t talk. Uncle Bruno never talks. He just grunts.
I see it now. Tony and Jared were there, at the table.
We were…
We were going to go to a movie.
Right.
What movie did we see? I can’t remember. Can’t for the life of me re—
Then it comes to me, like a video playing in my mind. It’s in color in my head, even though everything before my actual vision is in black and white because it’s so dark in this room.
Sorry, Katie. We need the money.
We never got to the movie.
And I’m here.
My hands wander absently to my neck. I don’t know why.
Until I touch a tender spot and wince.
My cousins. They…injected me with something.
I don’t remember anything after that.
And now…
Now…
I’m here.
I’m here.
“What, Katelyn?” Luke asks. “What did he do?”
I finally drag my gaze away from my lap and onto Luke.
He’s so handsome. He’s wearing long sleeves again, and I glance at the black and red on his left hand.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“What’s what?”
“Your tattoo.”
“It’s a…remnant of something I’d rather forget. I’m having it removed.”