“Sounds good,” I say. I try not to look back immediately at Kanen, but when I can’t resist anymore, I look up and our eyes meet. He’s wearing a black cowboy hat now, and he tips it at me. My heart flutters. Then he jumps over the railing and gracefully takes the stairs two at a time and slips into the seat next to me, the one that was occupied by Lacey, and says, “Howdy, there, Canada, and how are you this fine evening?”
“I’m okay, but the question is, how are you?”
He laughs and says, “Mighty fine, thank you. What brings you to the rodeo this evening? I hadn’t pegged you for an animal lover.” He looks around. “Or whatever you’d call the people here.”
“It’s my first time, actually,” I admit.
It’s a bit hard to get the words out, and I look down at my hands. He knows exactly what brought me here. His eyes, though dark, are burning into mine, and I can barely breathe. When I do, my lungs fill with the sweet, manly smell of him, and all I want to do is to lean against him and have him put his strong arm around me and pull me close. But the people around are craning their necks to get a better look at him, and whispering excitedly to each other.
“Well here’s the million-dollar question,” he grins. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know actually!” I smile back nervously. “I’m not sure what I think. I mean, is that bull okay?”
“He’ll be just fine,” says Kanen. “Just the momentary discomfort of someone riding him and then he spends his time chewing his cud in the pasture. Pretty peaceful life for the most part.”
“And you?” I manage to say. “Are you actually okay?”
“Honestly? Nothing a little whiskey won’t fix,” he says. “Just a few bumps and bruises.” His smile is intoxicating, and I find the corners of my lips rising too. I’m sure I look like a fool, completely silly and puppy-dog eyed, but I’ve never met a man like him and I don’t know how to react. Suddenly he looks to his side, and down the aisle is Lacey, standing with two beers in her hands. “I see you have a drink coming already. Thanks for coming, Canada,” he says and jumps up. He tips his hat at Lacey and she comes to sit down as well.
“Oh-em-gee,” she says. “Kanen came to sit with you?” Her face is astonished. “I could tell he thought you were pretty and was interested and all, but I never guessed he’d come sit with you.” She looks not just impressed, but awestruck.
“Really, is that weird? You know I’ve never gone to something like this,” I say. “I don’t know what people do!”
I’m kind of embarrassed at the shock she’s displaying on her face. Makes sense though, considering the reaction of the people around me as he chatted so casually with me. They seemed like they were in the company of southern royalty, whispering to themselves excitedly as we chatted.
“Not weird,” she says. “Okay, yeah, it’s weird. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a rodeo star do anything like that before.” She hands me a beer. “But weird in a good way. Amazing weird.” We both sit and drink some down, staring at the field. I’m a bit in shock honestly. “But apart from that, the whole Kanen thing, you like this place? It’s fun, right?”
“Sure is,” I answer. “Sure is.” For me there’s no ‘apart-from-the-Kanen thing,’ it’s all him, but I don’t want to disappoint Lacey. This is part of her culture after all.
Down by the arena, my eyes meet with Kanen’s again and this time I feel his stare go straight down to my core. I squirm in my chair, mortified to realize that my panties are getting wet again. I can still almost smell him from when he was beside me. Spicy, clean sweat. Musk. He’s incredible, this man, and the attraction is off the charts, at least for me. But I need to remind myself over and over that I don’t want to get involved. My whole reason for coming to Texas was so that I could just have a new life, away from Jeffrey and everything that happened with him. Not to fall in love or lust with some cowboy. No matter how sexy he might be or what he might have in his pants. As enticing as that is.
That isn’t in the plans at all. No way.
He tips his hat again from the arena floor, and his dark eyes flash at me before he disappears into the back rooms.
“He looked at you!” Lacey elbows me in the side, almost spilling her drink on me. “Did you see?”
“Oh, I saw,” I assure her. I can see almost nothing else. I take a long slow sip of the amber liquid, trying to quash the rising flames in my cheeks.
That night, I’m too excited to sleep. All I can think of is Kanen, his body writhing on the bull, and how it would feel if he were writhing on top of me. Every cell in me is singing his praises, but especially the ones between my legs. I’m dripping, and I haven’t been able to calm myself down since he was close to me. Why is he tormenting me like this? I wonder. Why is he playing with me? He’s a cat, a beautiful, dark-eyed black cat, and I’m a little mouse. With nothing to protect myself. Except to hide. That’s all I have.
I have to avoid him, I think, as my hand sneaks down between my legs. I have to keep away. Because if I let him in, he’s gonna eat me alive. There’s no doubt about it. My fingers touch my soft folds, plunging into the wetness there, and I imagine his fingers instead of mine, the bulge in his jeans pushing against me as he smiles that special way. His strong arms around me, lifting me up as I wrap my legs around him, and his tongue in my mouth. No, in my folds, sucking and licking as I buck gently against him.
“Kanen,” I whisper. It’s the first time I’ve done so with another man. I haven’t even gotten to the point where I imagine anything with another man since Jeffrey. It’s like my pussy went out of business for a while. After Jeffrey I didn’t want to; didn’t see the point.
Our lovemaking wasn’t anything that special, I think… but it’s hard to say because I never had anyone else. He didn’t seem all that crazy about going down on me either. He was more into just sticking it in and getting the job done, and going back to our reg
ular routine of Netflix and popcorn. But now I’m too excited, and my body won’t let me forget Kanen. My insides are coiling tighter and tighter, and then I feel it, his name on my lips, I burst into orgasm, coming harder than I have in a long while. Maybe ever.
Alone in the dark, the room seems a lot emptier than it did before. I stare into the blackness, still panting, filled with the thought of him.
Could he be thinking of me?
Ugh. My brain goes back to Jeffrey. The darkness lets my defenses down and I look at things more head-on. Our “perfect relationship.” Ha. Everything we had together was so predictable. We got together in high school, and at the time it seemed we would be together forever. Not necessarily because I felt it, but because everyone expected it to.
Everyone looked at us like we were meant to be, and I never guessed that our love wouldn’t truly last. I was sixteen when we got together. Of course, I didn’t realize how everything would change. Like everyone, I guess, I thought I knew everything at that age, and that everything would turn out like the fairy tales I read. We were in love and that was that. We were together, right? We had to be in love. Simple. And I think he felt the same way.
So what if the kisses didn’t shake me to my core? He was sweet and kind and that should have been enough. I prided myself on the fact that I wasn’t superficial. I knew Jeffrey as a person, as a best friend, and they always say you should marry your best friend. So I figured we were set.