Forcing a smile, I replied, “I guess you could say that.”
Kynslee lifted her chin and fought to keep her tears in check. I wanted to drop to my knees and tell her I was sorry. That she was so much more to me than a fuck. She meant the world to me. But I didn’t. Instead, I drove the last nail home.
“You should go out with Jack. He’s a nice guy.”
The feel of Kynslee’s fingers moving on my skin brought me back to the moment. I focused on her face and dropped my gaze to her mouth. When her tongue darted out to lick her lips, I nearly grabbed her and pulled her mouth to mine right then and there.
“Where else?” she asked, her finger moving up to the scar near my shoulder.
“I…um…I was shot in the upper leg. Sounds worse than what it was. A few grazes here and there over my body. Nothing bad.”
That familiar darkness that only hit me when I was alone at night or when something triggered me, started to creep in. I swallowed hard and took in a few deep breaths. Kynslee’s eyes met mine, and the feeling disappeared as quickly as it came.
Thank fuck. The last thing I wanted to do was have a damn anxiety attack right now.
“Marines or CIA missions?”
With a smile, I replied, “Both.”
She slowly withdrew her hand. I instantly missed the feel of her skin on mine. Even if it was just a little taste of her.
“I missed you, Kynslee. You have to know how much I missed you.”
Her mouth opened, and before she could speak, a ball landed right between us. It sent food everywhere.
“Oh my gosh! Oh, no! Kids! Look what you did!”
A woman who didn’t look to be that much older than me and Kynslee came running over.
“I’m so sorry. We ruined your romantic picnic.”
Kynslee and I jumped up.
“No, it wasn’t anything like that,” Kynslee said, causing pain to hit me square in the middle of my damn chest. Had she not felt that connection between us seconds ago? I stared at her before I pulled myself back to the moment.
“It’s totally fine. We were fixin’ to leave,” I stated.
“Gosh darn it, I really am sorry. We were trying to get the kids gathered up, and little Jimmy had to kick the soccer ball once more. I nearly died when I saw it flying your way.”
Laughing, I brushed the food off of me and replied, “Honestly, it’s totally fine.”
The woman looked between me and Kynslee. “My goodness, don’t the two of you make an adorable couple.”
Kynslee blushed and looked my way. “We’ve been friends forever.”
“Friends? Well, if this is just dinner with a friend, I can’t imagine what you’d do for a date. I have a younger sister who is single if you’re interested!”
Laughing, I held up my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m taken.”
I could feel Kynslee’s eyes on me, and I wanted to see her expression, but focused on the woman in front of me instead.
“Probably a good thing! The last thing you need is a crazy woman whose kid ruined your dinner to set you up. Listen, let me help you clean up and then I’ll get out of your hair.”
Kynslee motioned for the woman to stop. “Nonsense. It’s fine. Please, we’ve got this.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Positive,” Kynslee and I said at the same time.
“Y’all enjoy the rest of your evening!” the lady called as she jogged back to her kids. They didn’t look older than five at the most. The husband lifted his hand in a polite gesture and called out a sorry.
We waved back and then turned to clean up the mess.
“It’s all in throw-away containers. We can toss it. Easy clean up,” I said as I gathered the food. Kynslee cleared the blanket and folded it as I made my way to the trash can. I glanced at the family climbing into the SUV. They were laughing. The husband held the door open for his wife and kissed her on the lips quickly before making his way to the driver’s side.
An ache grew in my chest as I watched the family drive away. I wanted that. With Kynslee. Will that ever happen for me some day with the woman I love?
“Miles? Miles?”
Kynslee’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. I ran my fingers through my hair as I made my way over to the truck where she was waiting at the passenger side door. Feeling a sense of melancholy, I decided it was time to end the evening. I had no idea what Kynslee was going to say before the ball dropped between us, and honestly, I didn’t think I could handle her rejection again right now.
“I’ll drop you back off at your place now.”
A look of surprise appeared on her face, then disappeared just as fast. “Sounds good.”