He brushed his thumb across her bottom lip then arched an eyebrow. “I did not like seeing his lips on yours.” A thousand things passed in the air between them. Things that were so easy and yet so damn complicated at the same time. “And when this is all over and we have Mia home, we’re going to talk more about that. Really talk without the two of us bailing on that conversation.”
Alex didn’t have the words she needed, so she simply nodded then glanced out her window, watching the busy streets pass her by, realizing this was the first time she’d actually considered having that talk, instead of running.
CHAPTER 9
ON THE FLIGHT back to New York City, Alex had kept her nose stuck in her laptop. Rowan had stayed quiet, trying desperately to control his frustration. Every step forward only seemed to get him that much further away from finding Mia. His parents were on his mind. Christ, he did not want to make that call. And yet, as much as that consumed him, so did the thought of Mia and the life that she should have.
Doubt and sadness continued to engulf him when they landed then took the limo back to the hotel. That dread and worry rested heavy in his chest while he left Alex in the living room and showered. The hot water beat at his tense muscles, and he let the heat take him away from there for a moment.
By the time he finished his shower and redressed in fresh clothes, he rinsed all the bad shit away and refocused his attention. They needed to find Mia, nothing else was acceptable. And Alex would find her.
Rowan held onto his belief in that.
When he reentered the living room, he leaned against the doorframe between the bedroom and the living room. The lamp on the side table was turned on, casting a warm glow into the space. Alex sat in the big chair with her legs pulled up beneath her while she typed away on her laptop. She was gorgeous. So focused on the task, she didn’t even realize he entered the room. He couldn’t look away, so lost in her.
How am I going to let you go this time?
The thought nearly crippled him. She’d go back to San Francisco again. He believed that as much as he believed they’d find Mia alive. But he wasn’t the same man who’d run from her in Paris. His perspective had changed. His wants for his life all looked very different now. In the end, did he want to be remembered as CIA Agent Rowan Hawke, or something more?
He wasn’t sure.
“You’re staring.” Alex’s soft voice broke into his thoughts. He blinked, finding her curious gaze on him before returning to her screen. “Everything all right?”
Nothing was all right, but he didn’t want to make this situation any more complicated than it already was. At least, not yet. “I need a job to do while you’re doing yours.” He couldn’t stand the silence anymore. The waiting. The worrying.
She didn’t take her eyes off the monitor, like she hadn’t even heard him, so tuned into her work. “I’ve missed something. I can feel it. There’s gotta be someone else who’s here. There’s just no way it’s not about this app.”
Rowan understood those type of instincts to stay focused and get the job done. He had them himself. He also knew if he felt like he was onto something, nothing would tear him away. “I’m sure you’re right, Alex, but what can I do to help you?”
Maybe it was the tightness in his voice or the near desperation to be of any assistance at all, but she finally lifted her head again. The makeup under her eyes was smudged, but even so, he could still see dark circles there too. Part of him felt like a selfish prick for bringing her into this, knowing emotionally if they didn’t find his sister, Alex would take it as a hit too. The other part of him knew he had no chance of finding Mia without her.
Alex searched his eyes with a soft look of understanding, then said, “Caffeine and food would be great.”
He doubted she was hungry. She was just throwing him a bone, and for that, he was grateful. “Any food in particular?” he asked.
“Something with substance.”
He nodded. “That I can do. I’ll be back soon.”
She barely gave him another second of her focus before she turned her full attention to her monitor and her fingers began flying across her keyboard. Rowan moved to the door and slipped on his boot
s, then gave her a final look before leaving. He’d have to find a way to repay Alex, though he wasn’t sure how he could ever repay her if they found Mia.
Or maybe he’d let Mia show her gratitude. His baby sister had a way with people that Rowan never did.
Once in the hallway, he took the stairs instead of the elevator, trotting down the sixteen floors. When he made it out into the late, chilly night, Mia’s talks with him filled his memory. He’d thought a thousand times over of all the conversations they’d had recently, looking for anything that would bring him closer to this killer. But there was nothing else there. Nothing his sweet, lively sister told him that would help. Not once had Rowan allowed himself to think about what his sister might be going through. The only thought he had was finding her, and fuck, he felt like he was failing her.
Though as he passed beneath the streetlight, with the slight fog in the air tonight, he hoped wherever Mia was, she knew he wouldn’t stop searching. His sister was strong and fierce, much like Alex, only a little softer and sweeter, definitely more sheltered, and she was smart. She’d stay alive.
He headed down the street, searching out anything he thought Alex might like. He passed a tavern and quite a few five-star restaurants that were long closed for the night, until he noticed a shawarma place up ahead on the right.
A laughing couple passed him on the street before he entered the small restaurant with red metal tables on one side and a long counter on the other with a cash register at the end of the counter.
Rowan quickly moved there, passing three people sitting at a table near the glowing open sign on the window. “Two beef shawarmas and a couple of Cokes,” he said to the female cashier, grabbing his wallet.
“That’ll be twenty-two dollars,” she said, after hitting the buttons on the register.
He paid his bill then moved to the other side of the long counter, waiting for his number to be called while the female clerk tended to the next customer.