With the world a blur around her, she stepped forward and dragged her hand up his arm. Someone was saying her name behind her, again and again, but she couldn’t look away. The blood smeared beneath her latex glove, until suddenly more of the tattoo appeared. A black-and-white Celtic cross, a nod to his Scottish heritage. Screaming roared through her mind, growing louder and louder. Until the screams shot from her mouth, shaking the very core of her soul.
“Peyton,” a low voice said again from behind her.
She scrambled forward, climbing onto the bed, straddling Adam. She began compressions, breaking ribs beneath her hands. Pop, pop, pop; each one snapped under her force. She dropped her mouth to his, not caring about the blood, forcing air into his lungs.
“Peyton,” the voice repeated.
“It’s Adam,” she screamed, desperately pumping her hands again, begging his heart to start. So much blood. Tears rolled down her cheeks. He was so cold.
Suddenly a hand grasped her arm. “Peyton.” The voice was softer now.
She slapped the hand away. “You cannot die on me,” she cried, banging her hands against Adam’s chest. “I need you. Don’t you dare leave me.”
“Peyton,” the voice said once more before strong arms wrapped around her, forcefully removing her from the bed and placing her on the floor.
She fought against the unbreakable hold, tears raining down her cheeks, her scream so foreign she didn’t even recognize her voice. “I can save him,” she roared, her throat raw. “Please let me save him.”
“You can’t,” the person said. “I tried, Peyton. He’s gone.”
Dr. Williams…that’s who held her. Somewhere in her mind, the comforting voice of a friend broke through her shock. She stopped fighting but continued staring at the tattoo on his arm, sobbing against her dark, cruel reality.
“Adam,” she howled.
“Fuck, Peyton.”
She blinked, suddenly aware of Boone next to her on the couch. Tears flooded her cheeks, and she wasn’t even sure what she had said exactly, but by the pity in Boone’s eyes she assumed she told him everything from that night that changed her life forever. She wiped at her tears, noting the shaking of her hands. “Please don’t pity me. I can’t take that.”
He tucked a finger under her chin, bringing her gaze to him. “It’s not pity. It’s sympathy. Two very different things.” He slid his fingers over her cheek, then took her hand in his and stared at her for a loaded moment. “That’s why you gave up nursing?” he finally asked.
She nodded, her heart in her throat. “I couldn’t go back after that.”
He hesitated and then asked, “And why did you decide to move to Stoney Creek?”
“Adam and I took a trip here.” She glanced out the window, staring at the water. “We’d hiked the mountains, swam in the waters.” The memory was a good one, bringing lightness to her tight chest. “We had the most amazing vacation.” She hesitated, then forced the words out. “Adam died the weekend after.”
Something intense and broken crossed Boone’s expression. He glanced down at their held hands, exhaling deeply before addressing her again. “You came back to the last place you’d been happy?”
She nodded, her chin quivering.
“Jesus, Peyton.” He gathered her in his arms then and held her tight, no space between them.
“Don’t you need to know the rest?” she asked after a minute went by.
“Right now, I’m going to hold you,” he said gruffly.
“I’m okay.” She sniffed.
“Yeah, but I’m fucking not.” He held on to her for a long time. Until her tears dried and she no longer trembled. Only then did he lean away and slide his finger against the side of her face. “You are so strong…so fucking strong, do you know that?”
She leaned into his warm touch and nodded softly. “It took me a while to realize that, but yeah, I know that now.”
Their gazes held. So much unsaid passed between them. Peyton wasn’t sure what would happen after today. Because right now, they were bared. To each other. Their pain exposed. She wasn’t running away. And neither was he.
He brushed his thumb across her lip, following the movement with his gaze, and took her hand again. “Do you mind talking more?”
“I’m okay,” she breathed.
He glanced away for a moment, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, and when he looked back, his hard cop expression had slid into place, revealing nothing of what he felt. “What about Adam’s past? What kind of man was he?”