“Relax,” I murmured when I saw her eyeing my injured sigh with worry, afraid to lean her weight against me. “I want to hold you.”
Those seemed to be the magic words and she stopped fidgeting, letting herself settle. Once she was steady, she grabbed an icepack and more paper towels, holding it to the side of my face while I just looked at her.
My hands traveled up and down her sides, her back, the tops of her thighs. None of it was sexual, just affirming. Proving that she was really there, giving me comfort with the weight and certainty of her form. I could sit like this forever, just feeling her.
“I don’t want you to ever have to be alone after a fight again,” she murmured after a long period of contented silence.
“Oh?” I murmured, half out of it and completely relaxed.
She nodded, her eyes boring through me intensely and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was how people felt when I stared them down. It woke me up a bit, and I felt like something important was happening. Some sort of weight to the air that could snap at any moment.
“I want to be there for you, you know, if you get hurt. I… I don’t think I could live with the thought of you just sitting here, in the dark, not having eaten anything but some oatmeal this morning.”
The sheer amount of concern in her voice moved me. “I’m not normally like this-” I started. I was good at taking care of myself just like I was good at taking care of everyone I loved. It was just that there were, uh, some extenuating circumstances recently. Mostly having to do with Amber.
“I know. I just…” she took a shuddering breath and my grip tightened on her, trying to show her that I was there. That she could take strength from me. “Do you think, after everything I’ve done, you want to try dating? Usually that’s the step that comes before marriage, but I think we might have mixed that up there.”
I sat there for a moment in pure, undiluted shock as what she said pinged around my brain. She wanted to date me? Not fuck or mess around with, but date?
“What changed?” I heard myself whisper, not daring to speak too loudly and ruin the moment.
I could feel her tense in my lap, but I had to know. “I just realized it wasn’t enough anymore.”
“Wasn’t enough?”
She nodded. “I’m doing great in my business, but I shouldn’t have let everything else fall to the side. It’s a bit lonely you know, and empty. Sure, I’m proud of what I’ve done, and I let that be all I needed to fulfill me for a long time. But when I saw you getting hurt, and when Michelle and I had a talk about things, I realized that my life would feel much fuller if you were in it, instead of me always pushing you out.”
“Wait, you and my sister talked about me?”
“Don’t get sidetracked,” she said saucily, straightening her back so that we were almost eye to eye. “The important part is that I’m here now, asking for a second chance if you have any interest.”
“Yes!” I said, joy and shock running through all of me. “Amber, I’m more than happy to date you.”
She took a shuddering breath, her shoulders sagging with relief. “Good. That’s good. Thank you.”
“You don’t have anything to thank me for,” I whispered, my hand going to the back of her neck and pulling her towards me. “At least, not yet.”
And then my lips were crashing to hers. A real kiss to start our very real relationship. I couldn’t believe that Amber was in my lap, asking me to treat her how I always wanted to.
If it was a dream, one thing was entirely for certain.
I never wanted to wake up.
Amber
Our lips fell into a familiar dance as my arms wrapped around his shoulders. God, it felt so right for us to be interlocked again, moving with each other, feeling, just being, and my body rushed with euphoria.
Why had I been denying myself this so long? The weight of choreography, and personal responsibility on top of money and all that other mundane stuff all faded into the background, leaving only me and Mickey. Just a couple of brawlers who happened to get all soft and mushy around each other.
It was a bit embarrassing, and yet I wasn’t embarrassed at all. It wasn’t bad to need someone. I wasn’t weak for doing so. And I wasn’t weak for loving the way that Mickey took care of me, or how he took charge during sex. We were two puzzle pieces coming together exactly as we should have, and the utter alleviation was dizzying.
His arms wound around my body, his biceps strong and crushing in the best way I could possibly ask for. For a split second I was worried about his injuries, but then I reminded myself that he was responsible. He would make sure he didn’t hurt himself; I just needed to trust him.