But still, that was no excuse. A woman was hurt because I had been stupid and reckless and decided that getting my rocks of in the middle of a commercial set was too important to wait a damn minute.
I chewed at my lips some more, spiraling down into anger at myself. Which was probably why I was so surprised when Mickey stepped forward to speak.
“You should have Amber do it.”
“Wait, what now?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop him, and pretty much the entire production assembled stared at the mountain of a man.
“Pardon?” That was the lead producer. The one I’d talked to the least and gave off the impression of having the most massive stick crammed up his ass.
“You should have Ms. Shelstien do it. She’s experienced, she already knows all the choreography. She has a bit of a fanbase built in already. It’s the easiest, quickest and cheapest solution.”
While I wasn’t so hot on any of those descriptors, I couldn’t help but flush with color. Mickey thought I should be his counterpart? It was one thing to sleep with me, it was another entirely to think that I could carry a whole role on my shoulders. It was… flattering, to say the least.
But before I could say anything, whether it was an excuse to decline the kind gesture or an agreement, or even an apology for his speaking out of turn, the producer was speaking again.
“At her size? Nobody will believe it.”
Although I was used to those kinds of words, that kind of sentiment, it still stabbed through me like a spear of ice. Ow. Discredited not based on my ability, or merit. Just on my waistline.
I was strong, dammit! And I held my own with Mickey for quite a while.
It took all of my willpower to keep my face trained in a calm, professional mask. I had heard these words before and reacting emotionally was about the worst thing I could do. They would use that against me until kingdom come. I’d lose jobs in the future, born on the whispers of ‘I heard she’s easily offended…’
But once more, before I could respond otherwise, Mickey took another step forward. I knew him well enough to not take it as a threat, but it was interesting to watch the two producers and director shrink.
“Excuse me?”
Mickey’s voice was low, dangerous. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and my still-recovering libido perk up a little. I licked my lips, watching as a truly great scene unfolded in front of me.
“Well, it’s just that we need someone really fit, you know, for the warrior look,” the man sputtered, eyes wide.
“You want a warrior?”
“Yes.”
“And somehow, the woman who literally fights and risks her life for a living, a woman who’s fired guns from both hands while being suspended from her waist, a woman who is strong and capable and everything you would want in a warrior, somehow doesn’t fit the look you’re going for?”
The producers all shrank forward. “It’s not about us!” He tried. “It’s the audience-”
“Oh, don’t give me that!” Mickey objected, making a grand gesture. I had to admit; it was a bit awe inspiring. I was so used to thinking of Mickey as the affable giant from my teenage years when really, he was a confident, dominant man who really knew how to turn it on.
Or turn me on, apparently.
“Have you been on social media at all? It’s all about being thick and built. People are tired of seeing the same body type constantly, especially when it doesn’t make sense. You need a fighter? You need a warrior? You want to save time on your commercial? Then put Ms. Shelstien in the role. You trusted her enough to hire her company, why wouldn’t you trust her for the role?!”
There was a moment of quiet when he finished, looking down at the three men with that intense gaze. I could only stare at him, completely shook to my core by the whole experience.
Twice I had ditched this guy after sleeping with him. I’d returned the ring he’d try to give me as a gift, and I was insisting on an annulment to our marriage that he didn’t seem too worried by. At every step I was making things more difficult for the man, and yet he was standing in front of me, risking his reputation and future hiring options.
And for what? I’d already given him the goodies. It wasn’t like he was going to earn brownie points to lure me into bed.
No… it seemed genuine. He just wanted to help me.
Bizarre.
“You make some good points.” For the first time since I’d arrived, I felt like the producers actually looked at me. “Get her in a blond wig and I can see her fitting the Viking profile. Congratulations, Ms. Shelstien, it looks like you just went from behind the scenes to in front of the camera.”