My hand travels down her stomach to the apex of her thighs. They automatically open for me, and I palm my cock between her legs and apply pressure. The tip meets her clit, and a soft cry leaves her lips. Her hand goes to land on top of mine as she brings her hips forward enough so the tip is at her opening. I clench my jaw as the first inch slides inside. She sighs, and I know the relief is instant for her. I can’t imagine depending on something so much that my body quits functioning properly until it gets what it needs.
“Colt,” she whispers.
My eyes swing to hers to find them still closed. Relief like nothing I’ve felt before slams into me. Leaning down, I feather a kiss against her shoulder. “I’m here, Abby.”
She reaches back and laces her fingers through my hair, tugging my head down to her neck. Falling back to my side, I finger her clit as I pump my hips slowly, sliding in and out of her leisurely. I know slow isn’t what she needs right now, but I want to take a moment and relish the feeling of her knowing who is taking her.
After several gentle pumps, she becomes impatient and starts to forcefully slam her hips back against me. “Harder, Colt.”
Staying buried deep inside her, I roll her to her stomach and spread her legs wide. I don’t pull her to her knees, but instead, press my stomach and chest to her back and wrap an arm around her waist. In short shallow thrusts, I ram my hips forward, grinding down on her with each forward motion. I know I’m hitting the right spot when she cries out and her walls tighten around me.
With my free hand, I wrap it in her hair and tug her head back. Her eyes are open into slits, showing she’s at least somewhat coherent. I drop my head and run my tongue across the seam of her lips. She opens immediately for me, and I slip inside. The angle of our bodies makes it difficult for the kiss to last. I pull back and rest my forehead in the crook of her neck, as I continue to fuck her, laying kisses against her skin.
Other than our moans and heavy breathing, neither of us make a noise. The sex is intense, just as it always is between us, but it’s also different. We’re here because she needs me, not because she wants me. It’s not that we’re not enjoying it, but it’s not an ideal situation. Her body is betraying her mind and taking over. We’re not having sex with affection in the normal sense, the main purpose is for body healing. Even as I think this, my feelings for her grow.
Her body tightens around me, and I growl with the pressure around my cock. She always squeezes me so damn tight. I love the feeling of her surrounding me. She always fits me so perfectly, like God made her specifically for me. And not just for sex. Even when we’re lying around the house, and I have her snuggled against my body, or holding hands, or her standing next to me with my arm around her waist. No matter the situation, she fits.
I groan deep and bite down on her shoulder as I shudder out my release within her body. She pushes her back against me, like she loves the feel of me filling her up and wants more. It causes another jerk from my body.
I roll to my side and tuck her back even closer against me. Bending my knees, I mold every part of my body against hers. I feel her stiffen slightly, and a small fracture rips at my heart, but luckily, she doesn’t pull away from me. Her body finally relaxes for the first time tonight. A few minutes’ pass and her breath evens out, indicating she’s fallen back asleep. I’m grateful that I have a few more hours to hold her before I have to fight for her.
The next time I wake up, the sun is filtering in through the window. Abby’s trying to slowly slip from the bed. I stop her by tightening my arms around her waist.
“Colt,” she warns, but I stop her.
“Just a few more minutes.” My voice comes out hoarse, betraying my emotions.
It’s not lost on me that she’s called me Colt the last few times she’s said my name. I’m used to her using Blue, and it scares me that she’s now using Colt instead. I know it means something significant.
She doesn’t pull away, but she doesn’t relax, either. I lay soft kisses along her neck to try to ease her down, but it doesn’t work.
I whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“What happened?” she asks, not hiding the hurt from her voice, which is so unlike her. She normally doesn’t like to give away her feelings. For her to do so now, tells me that her pain is so great that she can’t hide it.
I sigh and release her. Sitting up against the headboard, I pull her with me so she’s straddling my lap. I like this position because it doesn’t allow her to hide her face from me. I need to be able to see her face so I can see what she’s feeling as I talk. She lets me maneuver her, but I can tell she’s uncomfortable. She takes the sheet and wraps it around her shoulders, shielding herself as much as she can from me.
I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “There was an issue with one of the engines. When I pulled up to the tarmac, I got out of the car and dropped my phone in a fucking puddle of water, ruining it. I couldn’t even get in my phone to get your number to call you from someone else’s. Due to fucking technology, I haven’t memorized your phone number.”
Her expression changes as I talk. No longer is the pain there. It’s replaced with despondency, and the look sends fear down my spine. This unemotional side she’s showing me is freaking me out. I cup her cheeks and press a kiss against her lips. She doesn’t respond, and my fear spikes even more.
“I’m so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry.” I let her see the remorse I feel in my eyes and in my voice, hoping she’ll see how much I mean it. Her expression stays the same. “I swear this will never happen again. As soon as they told me it would be several hours before they could get it fixed, I commandeered my driver’s car and hauled ass this way, but I still didn’t make it in time.”
Her eyes drop from mine to land on my chest, and she tightens the sheet around her.
“Abby—”
“I can’t, Colt.” She shakes her head and brings her eyes back to mine. They are filled with tears, and she doesn’t try to hide them as a few glide down her cheeks. “I knew this would happen. I just wished it would have lasted a little bit longer than this.”
“No, dammit!” I say heatedly. “This isn’t over!” My hands tremble as they tighten on her cheeks. “Abby, it was one time. I swear on my life, it won’t happen again.”
She gives me a sad smile that breaks my fucking heart. She leans forward and places a soft kiss against my lips.
“There’s no way you can guarantee that, Colt. Shit happens. You can’t always be there. There will be times when something comes up. It’s not fair to you to have to schedule everything around me because I can’t control my body. And it’s no
t fair to me to depend on you to always be there when I know there will be times you can’t. Last night was one of the most painful nights of my life. Not only because of my body’s demand, but because of the guilt of knowing I may give in and betray you. I almost did, and it nearly killed me, Colt. I can’t do that to you or me.”
I hear her words and the meaning behind them. It hits me in the stomach, knowing that they are true. There is no way I can guarantee I’ll be there every time she needs me, but I still refuse to believe there isn’t a way we can make this work. I can’t let her go. I don’t want to let her go. Even the thought of it steals my breath and makes it hard to breathe. There has to be a way.