Her voice is small and trembles. “I’ve never kissed anyone before because I wanted to. It’s always been forced on me. But now I’m curious, and you’re the only one I feel comfortable asking.”
Thank fuck for that, because the thought of her kissing another man damn near sends my fist through the wall. Which makes me all kinds of fucked-up, because she shouldn’t kiss me either.
The hopeful look in her eyes has my heart racing and my mind in turmoil. How can I deny her something she has every right to want to experience? But how can she go from being terrified for anyone to touch her when she first arrived to wanting to press her lips to mine? All in a matter of weeks. She was lost and broken only weeks ago. I’ve watched her slowly get better and better. Is she really ready for something so intimate as kissing?
I look at her, really look at her, and try to find something that tells me she’s not. Her gaze is steady on mine with no trace of doubt or fear. She’s nervous, that’s plain to see, but there’s nothing that says she’s scared.
I dig deep down in my psyche to figure out if I’m ready. Kissing isn’t something I did with Grace or the other two women I’ve been with the last several years. The act is too personal and private. It’s done when you have feelings for someone. Unlike Rella, I’ve never kissed anyone. Willingly or not.
My mind wars within itself. A secret part of me wants to kiss her, to experience something neither of us has done before. I want it so badly I can feel the need in my black soul.
But the darkness, the evil part that’s always there in my head, taunting me, fills me with disgust at the thought. I’ve touched Rella in the most awful and vile ways. I abused her body when she was just a child. I failed to save her.
“Don’t think, Aziah,” she whispers quietly. “Just feel.”
As I gaze down into her beautiful green eyes, I know I should push her away. To remind her of all the reasons why this is a bad idea. But I don’t. I’m already standing with one foot in hell, so giving in to this one little thing, something we both want, won’t make a difference.
I nod, and she gives me the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Just that one look makes the guilt I know I’ll feel later worth it.
I brace myself back against the wall as her hands slowly slide up my chest and stop on my shoulders. She rises to the tips of her toes, and her face gets closer and closer to mine. My stomach does somersaults, and my hands ball into fists against my thighs. The closer she gets, the harder it is to breathe.
Just before her mouth touches mine, I close my eyes. Her lips are soft and warm and just what I imagine heaven would feel like. She doesn’t press hard, just lightly pushes them against mine. I keep my hands to my sides when my body starts begging me to pull her closer. To feel her delicate body against my hard one. I’ve never felt desire like this before. It scares the shit out of me but also makes me want more.
When her nails dig in to the muscles of my shoulders, I release a deep groan.
She pulls back a fraction of an inch. Opening my eyes, I find hers are open as well.
“Is this okay?”
Without thought, I mutter, “Yes.”
She gives me the same smile as before and brings her mouth back to mine. Except this time, her lips are parted, and her tongue peeks out and runs across mine. She tastes better than anything I’ve tasted before. Sweet and tempting.
When she tentatively slips her tongue past my lips, I have to force back the need to devour her mouth. I want more of her taste, more of her unique flavor. I keep my need in check. As much as I’m enjoying it, even though I shouldn’t be, this is for her, not me.
She plays with my mouth, torturing me, for another couple of minutes before she pulls away, standing flat on her feet. Too absorbed in the kiss, I don’t realize until now that her body is flush against mine and I feel her every soft curve. My rock-hard erection is trapped between us. I enjoyed that way too fucking much.
“Thank you.” She drags her hands from my shoulders but leaves them on my pecs.
I stare down at her, unable to catch my breath. Her pupils are dilated, and she licks away the remnants of our kiss from her lips.
I should be the one thanking her. That kiss was one of the single most important moments of my life. It makes me a perverted bastard. I don’t deserve even a fraction of what she just gave me, but damned if it doesn’t leave me wanting more.
Not meaning to, my eyes drift down to her breasts. Her chest heaves slightly, and the hard, little points of her nipples almost touch my upper abs with each inhale. My twisted mind conjures up images of sucking them into my mouth, and I wonder what they would taste like, what they would feel like against my tongue.
What in the fuck is wrong with me? Never in a million years would I have thought I would be sexually fantasizing about Trouble’s little sister. Even without the nightmare of Hell Night between us and all the terrible shit she’s been through, she’s still Trouble’s little sister, and by extension, my little sister.
Shaking my head and silently cursing myself, I bend down and pick up
the sponge. My hand shakes when I hand it to her. Hell, my whole fucking body is trembling.
“I’ll let you finish in here.” I clear my throat when my words come out husky. “I’ll bring you some clothes and put them on the sink.”
Her eyes drop from mine to the sponge, but I see the hurt in their depths before she can hide it.
Before I decide to beg her to kiss me again, I grab the key from the shelf and quickly get out of the shower. I snag a towel, not bothering to dry off in the bathroom, and a roll of gauze from underneath the sink. I need to get the fuck out of the bathroom before I do something stupid.
She shouldn’t have given me her first kiss. She should have waited for someone special to come along. I grit my teeth and barely stop my snarl at the thought.