I drop my gaze, worried she’ll see the truth in them, because given the chance, I know she’s right. I may not know much about Trouble, but if I had the op
portunity to know him, it would be easy to develop feelings.
I look back at her. “I know you’re trying to help, but there’s no need. You’re right, I am leaving soon, so it would be stupid to let anything happen.” I gesture to my stomach and give a forced laugh. “Besides, I’m as big as a cow and will have a newborn soon. I highly doubt he’d be interested in me anyway.”
Something flashes in her eyes. Sympathy maybe? “That wouldn’t stop him at all, dear.”
I smile, not really believing her, but keep that to myself. “Thanks for looking out for me. I’m tired. I think I’ll go lay down for a bit.”
I feel her eyes on me as I walk away. After depositing the glass in the sink, I make a pit stop in the bathroom before going to my room. I’m not tired like I told Susan, but my back has been achy all day, and I’m hoping lying down will ease some of the pain.
Rolling onto my side, I close my eyes and think back to when Trouble was leaning so close to me I could see the dark specks in his blue eyes. My only regret in that moment was that he didn’t kiss me. I don’t know if it’s my unstable and erratic hormones, but I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss him. Would it be soft and gentle, or hard and rough? Something tells me it would be a mixture of both.
Flutters form in my belly and they aren’t from a moving baby. Nope, these are passionate flutters. Ones that send moisture between my thighs and a need to put my hand between them to relieve the pressure, something I haven’t wanted to do in a long time. I’m tempted to do just that, but I push back the need.
Instead, I keep my eyes closed and force thoughts of a real future, not one that’s irrationally formed, in my head.
I guess I really was tired after all, because it’s not long before I drift off to sleep.
MY EYES BLINK OPEN when something vibrates against my arm. It takes me a minute to realize it’s my phone. Lifting my knees, so my feet are propped on the bed, I roll to my back. I glance over at the window, and I’m surprised to see it’s dark outside. I must have slept for a while.
When my phone starts vibrating again, I grab it and sit up. Looking down at the phone, I groan when I see Lynn’s name on the screen. I feel like such a bitch, but I’m still not ready to talk to her yet.
After hitting the ‘ignore’ button, I notice I also have a couple of text messages. One’s from my brother, and one’s from Lynn. I open the one from my brother.
Kian – Talked with my commander. He’s cool with me leaving last minute to come get you. Just let me know when you want me down there.
I hit reply.
Me – I’ll let you know as soon as my car is fixed. Shouldn’t be too much longer.
I pull in a deep breath and bring up Lynn’s message next.
Lynn – I don’t know if you’re mad at me or maybe even blame me. I know you need time, but please, please call me. There’s something I need to tell you. Love and miss you.
I close my eyes when they start to water. Swallowing thickly, I try to force back the emotions gripping me. The last thing I want is for Lynn to feel like I blame her. How could I? There’s no way she could have known what her father was capable of.
I know my silence is hurting her, and I make a promise that as soon as I get to Kian’s, I’ll call and see if she can come out for a visit to try to make up for it.
Planting my feet on the floor, I thrust my hips out and push up from the bed. Bubba bumps around a bit, and I pat my stomach, knowing he’s hungry.
“I’m working on it, baby,” I tell him.
The light’s on in the living room, and I spot Susan sitting on the couch watching television.
“Hey,” I call and stop behind the couch. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
She laughs. “Pregnancy takes a lot out of you and fatigue can hit you at any moment. I put you a plate of leftovers in the microwave.”
“Thanks.”
I leave her and go to the kitchen, warming up a delicious bowl of chicken noodle soup. After taking several bites, I take my bowl to the living room to sit with Susan.
“Oh! I love this show!” I gush and take another bite, keeping my eyes pinned on the screen.
Susan sighs. “What I would give to have a relationship like Chip and Joanna. They spend so much energy fixing houses, but still manage to have family time.”
I look over and notice a hint of envy on Susan’s face.