Rae comes to my side and holds up her camera. “I thought you guys might want some pictures?” She frames it as a question.
“I hadn’t even thought of that,” I whisper, “but yes, we’d love some.”
Rae gives a small smile and nods.
Cade takes her place as she goes to take pictures of Nova and Beckett on the other side of the bed.
Cade claps my shoulder. “I know this doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry, man.”
“Thanks.” I give him a forced smile.
Xander stays a way back, his eyes flicking from the baby to Thea, and I know what he’s thinking.
What if this was them?
I lean against the bed beside Nova, trying to get closer to her and Beckett. I’m surprised when she scoots over, making room for me in the bed.
I climb into the bed beside her, leaning against her. I reach my hand out, touching Beckett’s cheek. In the back of my mind I hear the click of Rae’s camera.
“He’s perfect,” Nova whispers.
I find one of his hands, touching his small fingers. His body is cool, the warmth from Nova’s long gone, but he still looks as if he’s sleeping.
“He has your lips,” Nova whispers.
I smile at her, though she’s not looking. “And your nose,” I add.
Nova brings him closer and presses her lips to his forehead. “I love you so much,” she whispers softly. I would think I’d imagined it if it weren’t for the fact that I watch her lips move.
“Can I hold him?” I ask.
She looks up at me with wary eyes, not wanting to let him go, but finally hands him over.
Like I thought, he’s small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. The doctor weighed him and he came in at a little over three pounds so he’s tiny.
He smells like a baby—sweet and slightly powdery. Everything about him is small, and like Nova said, perfect. It doesn’t seem right he’s gone before we even got to meet him.
I can feel Nova getting antsy beside me so I kiss his forehead, the hat he’s wearing falling onto the bed, and reluctantly give him back. She cradles him in her arms.
I hum a song I was working on for him—a lullaby I had planned to sing to lull him to sleep.
Time passes and our friends leave.
When the door opens next, it’s the nurse.
“It’s time for us to take him.”
Nova stiffens beside me. “No, no, you can’t take him.”
She squeezes him close, like she’s willing him to sink back into her body.
“I’m sorry, but—”
“No!” she shouts. I can feel her panic rising, thick and clogging the air. Her legs begin to thrash like she’s trying to get the blankets off and make a run for it with him.
“Nova,” I try to get her attention to talk her down.
“Get away!” she screams at me. “You can’t take him from me! He’s mine! I’m his mother! I have to keep him safe!” She begins panting as her panic kicks in full force.