She wraps her hands around her mug. “I know, but sometimes it’s so damn exhausting.” She squishes her eyes closed and mumbles, “Swear jar.”
I find it funny Xander and Thea have a swear jar for any time they curse—trying to break the habit before Xael starts speaking. If Nova thinks I’m going to break my habit of cursing for our kid she’s mistaken. That shit is ingrained in me. It’s not going anywhere.
Xael begins to fuss more and Thea looks like she’s about to cry. “I’ve been up with her all night.”
I feel a pang in my chest. “Go get some rest,” I tell her. “I’ll take care of her.”
She looks at me like I’ve spoken a foreign language. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” I take another sip of coffee. “You better go before I change my mind.”
“There are bottles in the refrigerator and her favorite toy is on the couch.” She scurries off and up the stairs before I can blink.
Xael is full-out screaming now.
I remove her from her seat and rock her in my arms.
She looks up at me with big brown eyes wet with tears.
“It’s okay, sweet girl.” I sway side to side. I touch a finger to her cheek, wiping away a tear. Her bottom lip quivers but no new tears come.
“You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” I sit down on the couch with her and hold her to my chest. She snuggles close to me, burrowing her little head into the crook of my neck. She gets some slobber on me but I don’t mind at all.
I rub her back and sing one of my songs softly under my breath.
In no time, she’s asleep, making soft baby snores.
I move slowly, lying down on the couch so I can stretch out and she can sleep on my chest.
I close my eyes and it’s not long before I’m asleep again too.
“Wake up sleepy head,” Nova murmurs in my ear.
I crack an eye open and stifle a yawn. “What time is it?”
“A little after eight.”
Xael stirs against my chest and I hold my hand to her butt so she doesn’t fall off.
Nova smiles wistfully.
“Like seeing me with a baby?” I joke.
Her cheeks heat. “Yes,” she admits.
I sit up and cradle Xael in my arm. With my other hand I reach out, cupping Nova’s cheek. “One day soon it’ll be our baby.”
She bites her lip. “It’s crazy to think about.”
It really is. Before Nova, I had no intention of ever becoming a father. It wasn’t as if I didn’t like kids, I just felt I wasn’t the right person to be a dad. Not when my dad was so shitty. But Nova helped me see I’m not him. I’m my own person and my path through life doesn’t have to match his.
Footsteps sound on the stairs and Thea emerges. Nova and I are still in our pajamas but Thea’s already dressed for the day.
“Where’s my baby girl?” Thea asks and Xael stirs at the sound of her mom’s voice, searching for her in the room.
Thea smiles and holds her hands out for the baby. I hand her over and Thea sits down to feed her.
Nova sits down beside me, curling into my body. She does this a lot. It’s like when she’s near me she melts into me.