After dinner we’re both tired so we head up to bed.
With a baby.
This is crazy.
I fix Xael in her rocker bassinet in our room and she cries at leaving my arms.
“I hate it when she cries,” Xander confesses.
“Me too,” I murmur, watching her. “It breaks my heart.”
Xael flails her arms, and cries. We both stand back and watch her, ready to grab her if we need to. After a couple minutes her cries quiet and she falls asleep.
I smile at Xander and give him a high five.
I’m sure the quiet is short-lived, but I’m learning to revel in the good moments when we have them.
Xander and I climb into bed and turn the lights off. I snuggle against his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair.
It isn’t long until I fall asleep listening to the soft sounds of Xael’s breaths.
I wake up a short time later, jolting awake and running over to make sure she’s breathing.
“Thea?” Xander asks sleepily. “What are you doing?”
“I had to check on her,” I explain. “I was worried.”
I count her breaths, pleased every time her little chest rises and falls.
“Thea, come back to bed,” he pleads.
“Just a minute,” I beg.
I count her breaths for a solid minute before climbing back into bed.
“You can’t be so paranoid,” Xander warns me.
“I know.” I frown. “It’s hard being a new mom.”
“It’s hard being a new dad,” he echoes. “But we’ll do it, one day at a time.”
He brushes his lips softly over my forehead and I force my eyes closed.
It isn’t long until I fall asleep again.
Xander
Two weeks.
Thea and I have managed to survive two full weeks as parents.
It’s hard as fuck, that’s for sure, but I love being a dad. I love it more than I thought I would, and I know that as she gets older that love is only going to grow with all the things I can teach her.
“I don’t want to leave her,” Thea confesses, as she puts on her makeup. She watches me in the mirror where I hold the baby, rocking Xael back and forth.
“My mom wants to watch her, and we need a break. It’s a win-win,” I reason. “We’ll just do dinner and be right back. We’ll be gone an hour, two at the most,” I tell her.
I don’t want to leave Xael, either, if I’m being honest, but we’ve barely left the house these two weeks and I know we need a breather before we lose our minds.