This is a big deal for her, since she’s boy crazy and I’m not.
“Yeah, I think I do,” I admit. “But I don’t know him well,” I add.
“Not yet,” she reminds me.
“He’s cute,” Harlow pipes in.
I don’t tell them, but I know I can’t have anything real with Jasper, not until I tell him the truth of where the kidney I got came from. The thought of telling him is frightening. It was scary enough showing up at his parents’ house that day and I don’t know if I’m brave enough to do it again. The wind seems to have left my sails.
It’s awkward to tell the guy you maybe sort of like, even though you’ve only seen him three times and basically ran away two of those times, that his dead brother’s kidney is in your body.
I have the greatest luck EVER.
Since Jasper said he’d pick me up at five, I get up at four to get ready.
I spend way more time than I normally would, which makes me slightly frustrated with myself that I’m trying to impress this guy. I leave my hair to hang down in its natural waves. On my eyes I add eyeshadow in light brown colors, making my hazel eyes stand out more. I don’t bother with foundation, that’s never been my thing, but I do put a moisturizer on my face with some sunscreen protection in it. I swipe some gloss on my lips that has a pink tint and decide that part of getting ready is done.
I raid my closet, unsure what to wear.
T
his isn’t a date, not by a long shot, I know, but I still want to look nice.
I hold a dress up to myself and shake my head.
Definitely not a dress.
Finally, I decide on a pair of high waisted jean shorts and a white tank top, topping it all off with a red and blue plaid shirt which I roll up the sleeves on and then tie in the front.
I spray a bit of my favorite perfume, not enough to be suffocating during a car ride, but enough that hopefully I’ll smell nice.
I assess my appearance in my floor-length mirror. It’s still strange to see the flush in my cheeks, the symbol of healthy blood from my working kidney, and the healthy glow beneath my eyes where dark circles used to linger. I can’t help but smile while my eyes shimmer with tears I dam back.nbsp;
Even two months later I’m incredibly thankful for the gift of a healthy kidney. I’m sure I’ll always feel that way. It’s impossible to describe the thankfulness I feel for my donor, for T.J., and his family’s selfless decision to donate his organs. I get to live a healthy, full, vibrant life because of that. It’s like this immense weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I’ve been suffocating for years and I didn’t even know it. Now, I can finally breathe again.nbsp;
I look at the time and grab my bag, heading downstairs.
I lied to my parents last night and told them Meredith was picking me up early and we were heading to Santa Barbara for the day. It’s nearly a two-hour drive from here, so I made it seem like we were getting a head start on our day. Five in the morning is still a little early for that, but I haven’t lied to them before so they believed me. I hated to do it, but I couldn’t tell them about Jasper. Selfishly, I want to keep him to myself, and I knew my dad would suddenly go into overprotective mode, and I didn’t want to deal with it.nbsp;
While I lied to them, Harlow watched with a little smirk but didn’t rat me out. She knows I never lie to them, and besides, sisterhood bonds us. I’d keep my mouth shut for her and she knows it. But don’t get me wrong, neither of us would stand idly by if the other was doing something seriously wrong.
I write a quick note, saying I love them, and check my phone.
Almost as if he knew I was going to look, a text comes through.
Jasper: Just pulled up.
Willa: Be out in a minute.
“Be cool,” I tell myself, taking a deep breath. “Don’t make a fool of yourself.”
Perry raises his head from his cushion. “What are you looking at? I’m fine,” I tell him, though I’m the farthest thing from fine.
It’s just hit me—I’m about to get in a car with a guy, a guy I barely know, and go who knows where.
“What have I done?” I mutter and head outside.
I approach the car waiting outside—a yellow Jeep with the roof taken off—and stop outside the passenger door. I don’t have to wait for him to roll down the car window since there isn’t one.