It gives me plenty of time to think, and by the time I reach the driveway I feel like my head is clearer. I decide that I can’t wait around any longer and I have to try to see Jasper, since waiting around and hoping isn’t working.
I don’t bother changing, because I’m afraid if I give myself time I’ll change my mind. Instead, I grab my keys from the house and get in my car, making the quick drive over to Jasper’s.
When I get there, I park on the street and I’m relieved to see his Jeep in the driveway because it means he’s home.
I turn the car off and take a second to catch my breath before I get out and slowly make my way to the front door.
I ring the doorbell and it echoes around the house.
I wait, but nothing.
I ring it again.
“Jasper, please!” I call out, knocking on the door. “I need to talk to you!”
I ring the doorbell repeatedly but there’s no sign of life.
I squish my eyes closed as tears dampen my cheeks.
Suddenly, I hear movement and open my eyes to look inside the window beside the door. Jasper’s silhouette stands imposingly there and I can’t help but feel like a small cowering animal.
“Go away, Willa, I don’t want to talk to you,” he says through the glass.
“Jasper, I need to explain—”
He shakes his head roughly. “There’s nothing you need to say. Nothing. And let’s face it, you’re good at saying nothing so why try to change now?”
“Jasper—” Before I can say anything more, he turns and walks away.
I stand there for several minutes waiting and hoping for him to come back, but he doesn’t.
Closing my eyes, I decide he’s going to hear what I have to say one way or the other.
I head home and take the steps two at a time as I bound up them to my room.
Sitting down at my laptop, I lift the lid and open my camera app, pressing record.
I take a breath, and I begin to speak.
“Um … Willa, have you seen this?” Harlow asks, carrying her laptop into my room.
“What?” I ask, setting my book aside. It takes me a solid five minutes to read one page, but at least I’m reading.
She flops down on my bed beside me, placing her laptop between us.
Immediately, I see my video on her screen and I laugh.
“Of course I’ve seen this, silly. I kind of recorded it myself.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She rolls her eyes. “Look at the views. It’s gone viral.”
I look, finding over one million views on the video I posted two weeks ago in the hopes Jasper might see it. I thought maybe he’d be more likely to listen to what I have to say in a video than face to face.
The video starts to play automatically and both of us sit there watching it instead of turning it off.
On the screen I clear my throat, my lips twitching.
“Wow … um … this is awkward … I’ve never … uh … done this before. Recorded a video, I mean.”