knew I loved him, and it’s not like we didn’t talk on the phone or text but … you should still see people. Being there is more important.”
nbsp;“It is,” I agree, feeling a pit form in my stomach.
The pit that always rears its ugly head when I think about the fact that I probably have T.J.’s kidney, and here I am sitting right across the table from his brother, too afraid to tell him. Terrified, because I’m falling for this guy. Falling hard, and fast, and I’m more afraid of losing him than I am of the lie, and I think that scares me the most—that I already care so much. The guilt weighs heavily on me too, that even if it wasn’t T.J. someone died that night in order for me to live.nbsp;
The waitress drops off our drinks and I rip the paper off my straw. I dunk the straw into the clear soda and then take the paper, twirling it around my finger.nbsp;
I’m a liar.
I’m a fraud.
I’m a flat-out terrible person for not telling him, but I can’t now, not yet. Not when things are this good. I know that makes me selfish, but I need to enjoy these moments with him for a little while longer before he hates me forever.
“You okay?” he asks, setting his water down after having a sip.nbsp;
“Yeah.” I drop the paper onto the table, now wrinkled and hardly recognizable.
“You got quiet,” he comments, raising a brow.
“Just thinking.”
He nods. “I get that way sometimes too.” Smiling, he leans toward me from across the table. “By the way, my grandparents are begging me to bring you back. They like you.”
I blush. “I like them too.”
“They’re coming up to my parents’ house for a cookout at the end of the month. It’s like a family tradition. You should come.”
“That sounds fun,” I agree. “I’d like that.”nbsp;
I know it’ll be hard for me being around his family, in fact I can already feel my body seizing up with anxiety at the thought, but his happiness means more than my fear and if he wants me there then I’m going to be there. I can’t believe it’ll be the end of August already. This summer is passing by faster than I ever expected. It’s like I blinked and it’s over.
“Here you go, kids.” Our waitress places our plates of pancakes on the table.
Both of us drench them in syrup and I dig in like I haven’t eaten in a week.nbsp;
“These are seriously the best pancakes I’ve ever eaten in my life. How did I never come here before I met you?” I wonder aloud.
Jasper shrugs. “I guess you were meant to find me first, pancakes second.” He winks, and I can’t help but laugh.
We finish eating, pay, and then Jasper drops me at home reminding me he’s going to talk to his parents and he’ll let me know if they want me to come in for an interview.
My heart beats erratically as I leave him, because if they say yes then that means I’m possibly meeting my donor’s parents.
I wanted to meet them from the start, to thank them for giving me my life back, but as time has gone on the fear grows bigger and bigger. I’m afraid of them hating me for the very gift they gave me, because my life means T.J.’s death.nbsp;
Receiving an organ is a big deal. Whether it’s from someone you know who gives it to you in life out of the goodness of their heart, or someone who passed and had the forethought to think to save others in their absence. It’s not something that’s taken lightly on anyone’s part. I understand what responsibility I have to take care off myself and this organ, because it’s a gift and every day it thrives inside me is a blessing. It’s one more day I get to live like a normal person.nbsp;
“Have a good breakfast?” Harlow calls out from her room as I top the stairs. Perry pokes his head out from her room and runs toward me, rubbing himself against my legs.
I lean into her doorway. “It was delicious.”
“And so was the company?” She wiggles her brows
I laugh. “Yeah, yeah, he’s not so bad.”
“Do you want to go to the pier?” she asks, setting her laptop onto her bed.
I shake my head. “Jasper is going to see if I can get a job at Cool Beans since his parents own the place. I’m going to shower and get ready in case they call for an interview.”