She laughs, her blonde hair stirring against her shoulders in a slight breeze coming off the ocean. “I want a banana split with extra chocolate syrup.”
I nod and head over to the stand. There’s a long line of about ten people. I don’t think I’ve ever come to get ice cream here and there’s not a line. Being right on the beach gives it access to a plethora of tourists, but this is one place locals refuse to avoid because the ice cream is that good.
The line moves slowly, and I shift my feet back and forth restlessly. I glance over my shoulder and squint, spotting Harlow and Perry in the distance. Perry licks her cheek and she laughs, ruffling the fur at his neck.
I turn back and find that the line has moved forward. I take a step and open my purse, grabbing a wad of cash that’s loose. I’m terrible about putting money back in my purse. It drives my mom crazy because she finds money in the laundry all the time since so much of it ends up stuffed in my pockets.
When I finally make it the front, I’ve been in line for fifteen minutes.
“Um, a banana split with extra chocolate syrup and a small cup of strawberry, please.”
The girl working the register gives me the total, and I pay before stepping to the side to wait.
It doesn’t take nearly as long to get my order. I grab it, getting chocolate syrup on my finger, and make my way over to where Harlow sits in the sand, all the while praying I don’t drop our ice cream.
“Here you go,” I tell her, and hold out her dessert.
She takes it, Perry making an immediate dive for it.
“Perry, no,” she scolds him, turning her back to him.
I sit down on her other side, digging my feet into the sand. The sun is beginning to show signs of setting. I didn’t even realize how much time had passed. For once, I’d been enjoying myself. I guess when I got out of my head time didn’t seem to drag so much.
“This is freaking good,” she says, digging her spoon in for another bite.
I take a small bite. “Thanks for wanting to get out.”
She smiles. “Is that your way of saying you’re having fun?”
I laugh. “Yeah, I guess it is.” I take another bite, savoring it.
Harlow bumps my shoulder with hers. “I low you.”
“I low you more.” I lay my head on her shoulder, glancing out at the ocean as it beats against the sand.
It amazes me that something so perfect can exist on Earth when there’s so much ugliness in the world.
I believe there’s more good, if you take a second to look—the problem is people are constantly going a hundred miles an hour. Everything becomes a blur and nothing seems to matter.
And that’s every human’s biggest mistake—thinking nothing matters.
But every moment is important.
After all, you never know which one will be your last.
I love and hate the moment when I first start to wake up from a deep sleep.
There’s this brief moment where for a second, only a second, I forget about my kidney failure and the dialysis, where I’m a normal girl who can do normal things.
Then reality hits me, and I realize I’m not normal.
Awareness creeps back in and I feel like I’m going to suffocate.
I lie on my back, my hands on my chest, and stare at my ceiling as the dialysis machine whirs beside me.
Almost every day I tell myself this might not be ideal right now, but one day I’m going to get a kidney, and all those years I’ll have with a kidney far outweigh this.
Except the fact I’ll have to have another transplant one day.