I pushed away from the counter, went up the steps, and closed my bedroom door. I leaned my head against its surface and breathed deeply out through my mouth.
I wanted to pretend that didn’t happen.
But I couldn’t, because when I went downstairs later the mess was still there and a chill lingered in the air.
I was starting to realize that the parents I ‘remembered’ might have been figments of my own imagination.
???
I sat down at the table, holding the warm cup of coffee between my hands. Eyeing all the magazines covering the surface of the table, I asked Rowan, “Do you really need all of this to plan a wedding?”
“Ugh!” She groaned, pulling her long hair away from her face and securing it in a high bun. “I hate this! I’m about to tell Trent to forget all this wedding crap and just go to Vegas.”
I laughed, removing the plastic lid from my coffee and blowing the steaming surface. “Isn’t it the guy that’s supposed to hate all this big wedding crap, while the girl oohs and ahhs over everything?”
“I never realized how much thought and planning went into a wedding. This is hard. Trent’s mom and grandma have helped a lot, and his mom offered to higher a wedding planner. But I refused. I didn’t want to lose control.”
Looking at the mess on the table and her overall frazzled appearance, I said, “Maybe losing control wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
“No,” she stated flatly. Rowan Sinclair—soon to be Rowan Wentworth—was the most stubborn person I knew…besides myself of course. “What do you think of this color for bridesmaids dresses?” She pointed to a pale blue color.
“It’s pretty.”
“You hate it,” she threw the magazine to the side.
“No,” I picked it back up and flipped to the page she’d shown me, “I said it was pretty. Since when did that mean I hated something?”
“It was your tone.”
I rolled my eyes. Sometimes Row could be the most impossible person to deal with. “I love the blue,” I replied. Batting my eyelashes, I leaned across the table towards her. “It’ll make my eyes pop and the men won’t be able to resist me.”
“Men? Or Jude?” She smiled wryly.
“There’s nothing going on with us,” I replied, putting the lid back on my cup of coffee and taking a sip. It was the truth. Well, maybe a half-truth. There was something between us, but there were no labels to describe our relationship. “So,” I swallowed the hot liquid, “are you going with the blue?”
“Yeah,” she sighed, marking the page. “It’ll be pretty on you and Olivia.” Olivia was Rowan’s other bridesmaid and she happened to be Trent’s sister-in-law. I’d only met her a handful of times. She was sweet and really pretty. I could tell she and Trace, her husband, were crazy about each other. It made me a little envious. I wanted that kind of love…I just didn’t want the pain, suffering, and heartache that could come from it. Let’s face it, I was going to die alone surrounded by cats.
“I can’t wait to leave for spring break and have an actual, you know, break,” she propped her head up on her hand. “I still hate the thought of leaving the kids, but I need this.”
Judging from the dark circles under her eyes, I’d say she definitely needed this. With school winding down and the impending approach of graduation every senior on campus was stressed out.
I needed this break just as much.
This coming week couldn’t be over fast enough.
Taking one of the magazines I flipped through it until I found the sluttiest wedding gown imaginable. Rowan was too stressed and I wanted to make her laugh. “There you go,” I slid it across to her, tapping my finger on the glossy page, “it’s perfect.”
She snorted when she saw what I’d picked. “While I’m sure Trent would love it, I’m not sure I want every guest to practically see my goods.”
“In all seriousness,” I said, “what do you want for a wedding dress?”
She shrugged her slender shoulders. “I’m not sure. I know that’s a sucky answer but it’s the honest one. I was thinking maybe something more old fashioned.”
Looking at Rowan, with her long light brown hair pulled back, her fine features and sculpted cheekbones I was pretty sure she could wear anything she wanted and look gorgeous in it. “If that’s what you want, you should go for it.”
“I really need to try on dresses,” she bit her lip. “Do you want to come with me?”
“Of course,” I replied immediately. “When?”