With a scowl, I pushed myself away from the wall.
I closed my bedroom door, locking it behind me.
I slipped beneath the covers, glaring at the textbook laying on the bed.
I wanted to put off my homework till tomorrow, but it would only bug me and result in even more lost sleep.
I pulled the textbook onto my lap and began to read the assigned pages.
Thirty minutes later, when I finished reading, I had to write a short essay to summarize what I’d read. Honestly, you’d think professors would have better things to do than grade stupid papers like this.
We were supposed to type this, but I didn’t have a computer, so I had to hand write it. I always did my typed assignments at the library before I went home. Hopefully I’d have time to type this up tomorrow, but tomorrow also meant even more homework. It was a vicious cycle.
Once the short paper was written, I tucked it into the pages of the book and dropped the book beside my bed on the thin strip of floor that served as the walking space in my room.
I reached over and turned the light off, bathing the room in darkness.
I lay in bed, unable to go to sleep even though I was exhausted.
I heard the front door slam closed and jumped.
My step-dad Jim was home.
I hated Jim with every fiber of my being, maybe even more than I hated my mom.
I listened to his heavy footsteps echo through the small house. When they started down the hall, I closed my eyes for a moment to ground myself.
Turning on my side, I forced them open, staring at the darkened shadow stopped outside my door.
I held my breath, counting in my head.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ei
ght, nine, ten.
Jim smacked me around some, but nothing too bad. What I couldn’t handle was when his eyes roamed up and down my body like I was piece of meat he wanted to devour. Even worse than that was when he touched me. Sometimes, when I was wearing a skirt, if I passed by him while he was sitting his hand would skim under the fabric and up my thigh. Other times his fingers would graze my butt or my breasts. He liked to play with my hair too. I’d thought about cutting it more than once, but my hair was the only thing I liked about myself and I refused to let him take that piece of me.
I held my breath, waiting for him to leave. When he finally did I was red in the face and black spots floated across my eyes.
I wondered how much longer he’d be satisfied with simple touches and standing outside my door.
I rolled onto my side, away from the door, and squished my eyes shut.
Behind my lids, Trent’s image filled my mind. I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried. He was always there.
Pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes I let out a groan. Why couldn’t he leave me alone? Didn’t he see that I was no good for him? I would never be able to love him when I couldn’t even love myself.