* * *
I lay in my bed, sleep desperately needed but elusive.
I pull out my phone, scrolling through my contacts. I hesitate for a single breath before I hit the call button.
“Hey,” the smooth voice answers.
“You weren’t sleeping, were you?” I ask, knowing I should’ve thought of that before I rang.
He chuckles warmly. “No. What do you need? Are you okay?” Hollis asks.
“I’m fine,” I sigh. “Can’t sleep.”
“Ah,” he breathes. “Same. Is something bothering you? It’s not…”
“No, not that,” I rush to assure him. “It’s thinking about moving, getting my own place—can you tell I hate change? It’s my biggest fear, I think.”
The sheets ruffle as I roll over onto my side, my phone against my ear and the pillow.
“I think it’s natural to fear change.”
“You don’t,” I counter. “If you did you wouldn’t be here right now, recording an album.”
“It doesn’t mean I wasn’t afraid to try, or afraid of failure, but I was more afraid of regretting not taking the chance.”
“I have to push past this, don’t I?”
“Only if you want to,” his voice is a lovely croon in my ear. “If this is what you truly want, to take this next step in your life, then do it. The fear won’t go away, but you have to be stronger than it.”
His words steel me. I can do this—and if I look at places and find nothing suitable, I won’t move, but if I do? Then, this is happening.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did. Goodnight, Hollis.”
“Night, Mia.”
I hang up, setting my phone on the night table, and when I roll back over I’m asleep before I’ve barely closed my eyes.
* * *
An entire week passes before I can start looking at places. I don’t tell my dad I’m starting to look because I know he’ll come along and my mom as well—I want their approval on wherever I decide on, if I decide, but this is something I need to do myself.
Although, I invited Hollis along.
I tell myself it’s because I want his opinion. Truthfully, I want to spend time with him not at the studio or sneaking around town. We haven’t had a night like the first since, but we have made out a few times.
I can tell the guys either know or suspect something, but they’re not talking and don’t seem to be judging me. Instead, I find myself becoming closer to all of them—laughing and joking like old friends. Much to Hollis’s chagrin they invited me to come out with them tomorrow night for dinner and something else they won’t tell me. I warned Hollis if they had a prank up their sleeves I was punching him in the face for it. But even Hollis swears he doesn’t know. At least Kira is coming along too, with Rush. I know she’ll protect me if there’s trouble.
Kira swears there’s nothing more between them other than really amazing sex, her words not mine.
Hollis and I walk side by side down the street and to the first rental property.
We meet the landlord outside and he leads us inside and up a rickety set of stairs to a second floor apartment. We take one step inside the first place and Hollis shakes his head adamantly.
“No. Absolutely not.”